Our beliefs are quite possibly our most important possessions.
They can limit us and confine us to lives of anxiety and insecurity. Or they can build us up into beasts of men and allow us to mercilessly crush life.
In the past I’ve written about how to overcome limiting beliefs as well as the most empowering beliefs men can internalize. In this article I want to discuss one belief from that list that I think is the most important belief of them all:
“I am exactly where I need to be at this very moment in order to develop and grow.”
This belief is so crucial because it allows us to see the silver lining in every situation, no matter how bleak or grim it may seem. It shifts our mindset from one marked by weakness and self-pity to one marked by confidence and excitement to move forward.
In this article I’ll run through several difficult common scenarios men face – I do this to remind myself to incorporate this belief into my daily life and in hopes of allowing you to see the value of using this belief in your own life.
1. Losing a girl
Breakups and divorces are some of the most painful things we can experience. It doesn’t matter if you ended it or she did – it’s fucking difficult to move on and stop seeing someone that you loved and cared about.
If all you do is dwell on the past – something we all do after a breakup – you’ll moap in your own misery for days, weeks, or even months. You’ll wonder if it would’ve worked out if you had just done that one little thing… You’ll regret some things you did… You’ll hate her for other things she did… Or that she didn’t do.
But if you remind yourself, “I am exactly where I need to be at this very moment in order to develop and grow,” you’ll take on a very different mindset.
You’ll recognize what you could have done better. You’ll forgive her for what she did “wrong”. You’ll appreciate the experiences you shared. And you’ll embrace yourself and use your solitude as a time to push yourself… in your career… in the gym… and everywhere else, for that matter.
2. Career stagnation
This point can take many forms…
- You realize your 9-5 job isn’t what you want to do anymore
- You don’t know what you want to do next
- Your business isn’t turning a profit or your new product isn’t selling
- You’re unemployed or you can’t seem to get a decent job offer
All of this is miserable. It can make you feel worthless, like you’re about to go broke, or like you have no purpose in life.
And these feelings will eat away at your self-esteem, your happiness, and your relationships… If you let them.
But if you stop yourself from crying “poor me!” and you instead think “I am exactly where I need to be at this very moment in order to develop and grow” – things will begin to take a very different shape in your head.
You’ll shift from a mindset of frustration to a mindset of brainstorming and considering the unlimited possibilities you can pursue going forward. If this is truly where you’re meant to be then it’s time to start applying to new jobs, researching new fields, getting a new certification or education, trying a new way to market your product, creating a brand new product, or even starting your own “freedom” business.
3. Health issues
I’ve experienced my fair share of health issues, and these times were definitely NOT the best times of my life. Injuries and health issues can be physically painful, keep you from doing the things you love, and make you miserable as a result.
This very well might be the toughest place to internalize this belief. You’ll often feel powerless knowing you can’t do anything to get better aside from waiting… and time passes oh-so-slowly when you’re in bad health.
But what if you do start to tell yourself “I am exactly where I need to be at this very moment in order to develop and grow”?
Will things magically get better? Hell no. But maybe you can start focusing on things that you still can do that you normally don’t have the time or patience for… things like reading, writing, and meditating. And maybe you’ll really appreciate the things you took for granted when you do get better.
After all, if you can train yourself to be happy in your current state, then you’re sure to be ecstatic when you’ve recovered.
4. Financial stress
I’ll be honest, I’ve been lucky – or smart – enough to have avoided serious money-related issues in my life.
But I recognize that there are a lot of ways you can go broke. Maybe you made a bad investment, lost your job, or spent outside of your means. Whatever the cause of your condition, you must move forward.
If you dwell on the fact that you’re piss broke, you’re surely not going to start raking in cash.
But if you think “I am exactly where I need to be at this very moment in order to develop and grow” then just maybe you can acknowledge your mistake, resolve to avoid doing it again, and look on the bright side of your fresh start.
It’s time to make money, and the same strategies I covered in the career section above apply here – only your ability to take risks is greatly diminished. So using a “fallback” skill like accounting, personal training, programming, etc. to get a quick job is probably best… And if you have no such skill then that’s probably your first step, bro.
Another way to look at this belief is that, “whatever happened was meant to happen.” So take note of your current reality, make a game plan, and start taking action to move yourself forward.