Everyone has insecurities.
We all have things that we are embarrassed or ashamed of. It’s completely natural…
But failing to deal with these insecurities can cripple your confidence and self-esteem. It can make you feel like you aren’t ‘enough’. And this will quickly lead to self-pity and even depression.
In this article I’ll cover 5 common insecurities that guys have, and then I’ll give you a simple 3-step process to get over them.
#1: Your Body
Recently there’s been a big movement to ’empower’ women against the unrealistic body expectations that our society has placed upon them…
And while that is an important issue, it’s important to realize that men have body image issues of our own.
Men’s Health magazines, popular movies, and your Instagram feed are all full of jacked dudes with beautiful women hanging off their shoulders. Put simply: having a lean, muscular body is something that every man feels pressured to achieve.
So when you look in the mirror, and perceive yourself as chubby or scrawny, it’s only natural to feel like a ‘failure’. You know that having a ripped body is something that other men respect, and that women find attractive…
And when you’re not living up to this ideal body image, it really fucking hurts.
Other than following the 3 steps at the bottom of this article, the best thing to do is get on a solid workout routine and be consistent.
#2: Your Hair
Having a full head of hair is a sign of youthfulness and virility, so it’s only normal to feel insecure when you begin to bald (especially if it’s at a younger age).
Luckily this isn’t a problem I deal with personally, but I know how painful it can be from living with friends and family members who are balding…
You get hyper-focused on your hairline every time you see your reflection. You can’t appreciate the things that make you attractive, because the only thing you notice is your lack of hair.
All of this will slowly but surely eat away at your self-confidence, as you begin to compare yourself to other men based on your hair, rather than your other physical qualities, your style, or what you actually do in life.
Other than following the 3 steps at the bottom of this article, the best thing to do is shave your head and improve your other physical attributes (fitness, style, etc).
#3: Your Height
Being tall is a sign of strength and authority, so it’s easy to feel like you’re a ‘lesser man’ if you’re on the shorter side.
It’s far too easy to get hyper-focused on your height, and immediately notice how much taller everyone else is when you walk into a room…
And it’s impossible to have true confidence if you’re constantly comparing yourself to other guys. This will only feed the insecurity and make you place more and more of your self-worth on your lack of height.
Also, this insecurity can be extra painful because there’s really nothing you can do to increase your height and grow taller.
Other than following the 3 steps at the bottom of this article, the best thing to do is get on a solid workout routine that builds muscle and improves your posture (both make you look taller).
#4: Your Sexual Ability
If you’re not confident in your ability to have good sex and please women in bed, it can cripple your life in many different ways.
It doesn’t matter if this insecurity is a result of having limited sexual experience, or being embarrassed by the shape or size of your penis. Both of these common causes ultimately lead to the same symptoms.
On one hand you’re far more likely to struggle with premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. This is because both of these sexual dysfunctions are caused by anxiety. And when you’re insecure about sex, you’re likely to be quite anxious in the moments leading up to it.
On the other hand you’re far more likely to have low self-esteem around women in general. You simply cannot be truly confident around a girl if you’re worried about whether or not you’ll be able to please her (if things eventually escalate to sex).
Other than following the 3 steps at the bottom of this article, the best thing to do is quit watching porn (this will have an immediate impact).
#5: Your Income
Another common insecurity guys have is related to how much money you make.
Making a lot of money is the primary measure of success in our society… especially in regards to men. So when you aren’t making a lot of money, it’s only normal to feel a bit embarrassed or ashamed about it.
Not only does it prevent you from buying cool clothes, or going on cool vacations, but it’s also a constant source of stress.
On one hand, you don’t want other people to know, because you want them to assume that you’re financially stable. We all do. We all want to be perceived as successful. On the other hand, having to pay your bills can be a very real – and very painful – source of anxiety. Nobody wants to worry about how they’re going to pay their next rent check.
The combination of trying to hide your financial struggles, and trying to make enough money to survive, can cripple even the strongest man’s confidence and self-esteem.
Other than following the 3 steps at the bottom of this article, the best thing to do is eliminate debt and live a minimalist lifestyle (I know this is overly simplistic, but I don’t want to de-rail this article).
How to Get Over Any Insecurity
I know you might be feeling sorry for yourself after reading all the negative BS above…
But hold up! There’s actually a pretty simple system to quickly remove the ‘stranglehold’ that insecurities can hold over your self-esteem.
Step 1: Identify Your Insecurity
The first step is to identify a specific insecurity you have. It could be one of the 5 I mentioned above, or it could be something else that you’re embarrassed or ashamed of.
The main thing here is to be honest with yourself.
Step 2: Accept it
The second step is to ‘accept’ the reality that you have this particular insecurity.
The biggest mistake guys make is to try and pretend their insecurities don’t exist. Sure, you may feel sorry for yourself for being bald or being out of shape, but have you fully accepted it?
Have you accepted the reality of the situation? Have you accepted the fact that this insecurity is a part of who you are?
Until you can answer an honest “yes” to these questions – and actually be cool with it – you’ll continue to feel inferior to other men. Until you can look yourself in the mirror and be okay with the fact that you’re short, or bald, or sexually inexperienced – and actually be comfortable with it – you won’t be able to possess true confidence.
None of us are perfect. We all have rough edges and imperfections. Those of us who are able to accept these things are the ones who are the most confident.
Step 3: Share it
The final step is to share your insecurity with someone else. This will truly allow you to accept the insecurity and actually be cool with it.
You see, insecurities hold power over us because we’re afraid that other people are judging us based on these insecurities. We’re afraid that people are looking at us and only seeing a short dude, or a bald dude, or a chubby dude. We’re afraid that other men won’t respect us – and that women won’t like us – because of these things.
By sharing your insecurity with someone else, it essentially ‘short-circuits’ this logic and demolishes the power of the insecurity.
I suggest choosing a close friend or family member and sharing your insecurity with them (even though I know that sounds extremely intimidating). After you do this, I promise you’ll feel like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders.