It’s only natural to give a fuck what other people think about you…
It’s only natural to seek the approval of other people…
But there are serious consequences costs to doing so.
- When you give too many fucks what strangers think about you, you end up feeling insecure in public places.
- When you seek approval through dating (and getting attention from women), you end up on an emotional roller coaster that can leave you feeling ‘unworthy’ and lonely.
- When you give too many fucks what your family thinks about your career, you end up working a job you don’t care about.
In this article I’ll cover 3 steps you can follow to stop seeking approval, so you can free yourself from all the negative emotions that come along with giving too many fucks.
#1: Understand Why it Doesn’t Matter
The first step is to understand why it’s useless to worry about the opinions of other people.
Most People Are Too Self-Conscious to Judge You
You’re not the only person who’s worried about what other people think.
In fact, it’s absolutely crucial for you to realize just how self-conscious the average person is. Seriously, even the most confident men worry about how other people perceive them.
It’s why we take so much time to choose what we’re going to wear. It’s why we go to the gym. It’s why we get cool-ass haircuts. And it’s why we want to make a lot of money and become famous.
The entire concept of fame, and what makes it so attractive, is that it implies that lots of other people will like you…
So next time you catch yourself worrying that everyone is looking at you and judging you, realize that they’re probably too busy worrying about what other people are thinking about them to even notice you.
The ‘High’ of Approval Does Not Last
Here’s another big thing you need to understand: the ‘high’ you experience after getting approval NEVER lasts.
- Get that big promotion? Congrats, you’ll feel super important for a few days. Then you’ll be back at it, chasing the approval of your boss yet again.
- She finally texted you back? Congrats, you’ll feel good about yourself for a few hours. Then you’ll be back at it, anxiously awaiting the next response.
- Receive a nice compliment? Congrats, you’ll walk with swagger for a few minutes. Then you’ll be back at it, worrying what everyone thinks about you.
I don’t mean to be a ‘Debbie Downer’ here, getting approval does feel good. But it’s like a drug…
If you depend on getting approval to feel good about yourself, then you’ll always be chasing it. You’ll never feel happy or ‘complete’ without it…
And you’ll always give way too many fucks what other people think about you.
If you’re having a good day and people are paying you attention, then all is well. But if you’re alone for the day or someone looks at you wrong, then you feel like a worthless piece of shit.
Which leads me to point #2…
#2: Build a Lifestyle You Can Be Proud of
The fastest way to stop giving a fuck is to start living a life that YOU can be proud of… regardless of what other people think. And this all starts with strong daily habits.
Develop the Right Habits for YOU
I’m not talking about brushing your teeth, making your bed, and flossing. No, I’m talking about habits that allow you to live up to your own expectations.
For me, this means doing things like lifting weights, practicing martial arts, playing basketball, writing, meditating, and traveling on a regular basis. I do these things because I enjoy doing them. I do them because I feel happy when I do them.
This way, it doesn’t matter if some girl rejects me. Or if some guy disrespects me. Or if I get a bunch of nasty comments on one of my posts or YouTube videos…
No, I don’t give a FUCK about any of these things!
And it’s all because I know that I can still hit the gym. Or go a quick trip to visit my buddies in Colombia. Or get lost in a deep meditation. Or compete in a summer league basketball game…
No matter what other people say about me, I can always take comfort in the fact that I’ve built a lifestyle that I’m proud of…
And that is something that no one can take from you.
Set Goals YOU Care About
While developing the right habits is the #1 thing you can do to ‘self-validate’ and stop giving a fuck what other people think, it’s also important to set the RIGHT goals.
It’s too easy to fall for the trap of setting goals that serve other people, and what you think THEY want you to do…
But when you do this, you basically chop off your balls and serve them up to someone else. Seriously, you suppress your own aspirations and trade them for someone else’s. You give other people the authority to choose YOUR life’s direction.
So how do you avoid this mistake?
Easy, you avoid setting super-long term goals, and instead focus on setting moderate-term goals (think 1-6 months) that reflect your current interests and aspirations.
You see, other people tend to pressure you (directly and on a subconscious level) to live up to their long-term visions for you. By focusing on shorter-term goals, you effectively give yourself permission to focus exclusively on YOUR aspirations, while gently ‘pushing aside’ the interests and opinions of other people.
#3: Catch Yourself Seeking Approval
In the video above, I share some of my best strategies for overcoming the need for validation and approval. This is the final step to truly stop giving a fuck what others think.
Catch Yourself in the Moment
Even after you structure your life around habits and goals that you actually care about, you are still liable to give a fuck what other people think.
The key is to catch yourself giving in the act of too many fucks.
It doesn’t matter if you’re at work, and you catch yourself agonizing over whether or not your boss is pissed at you. Or if you want to ask a girl out, and you catch yourself over-analyzing whether or not she likes you. Or if you’re at a party, and you catch yourself worrying about whether or not the other party-goers think you’re a cool guy.
Regardless of the situation, follow these 3 steps to break the cycle and stop giving a fuck.
- Catch yourself. The most important thing is to recognize that you’re giving a fuck what others think, or seeking their approval.
- Accept it. The natural thing is lie to yourself and tell yourself that you’re not actually seeking approval. DON’T do this. Instead, accept it and tell yourself that it’s going to be okay.
- Let it go. It doesn’t matter exactly WHY you’re giving a fuck. The important thing is to let it go. And the best way to do this is to focus on breathing 4-5 deep ‘belly’ breaths.
[Read THIS article for an in-depth breakdown of this breathing technique]
This will be challenging at first, but the more you catch yourself giving a fuck, the easier it will be to let it go. And then you can get back to living your life… with ZERO fucks given!
The great thing about this technique is that it will become a natural, subconscious process over time (i.e. you will slowly retrain your brain to stop giving a fuck).
Be Aware of Larger ‘Approval Seeking’ Trends
The same way you should catch yourself giving a fuck what other people think in the moment, you should also be cautious of seeking other people’s approval in regards to your larger life choices.
In fact, take a minute RIGHT NOW to answer the following questions…
- Why are you working at your current job?
- Why do you have the hobbies that you do? Or why aren’t you doing a hobby you’d like to do?
- Why do you live in the city that you do? Why do you live with the people that you do?
- Why are you afraid of commitment? Or why are you a serial-dater? Or why do you avoid women?
Now, I know we can’t all have our dream jobs, and sometimes we have to make sacrifices to support our families… but I want you to be brutally honest with yourself here.
If your answer is because your father wants you to do it, or because you think it will impress your friends, then take note! Structuring your life around the expectations and preferences of others is a recipe for disaster….
It will cripple your self-esteem and cause you to chronically seek approval from other people. It will make you give way too many fucks.
How to Stop Giving a Fuck
And there you have it!
If you follow these 3 steps, you’ll soon be free from giving a fuck what other people think:
- Understand that it’s useless to worry about what other people think, because the ‘high’ of getting their approval never lasts anyway.
- Build a lifestyle that YOU can be proud of by practicing hobbies that make YOU happy and setting goals that YOU care about.
- Build the habit of catching yourself seeking approval, accepting it, and then letting it go…
…and enjoy the FREEDOM that comes with not giving a fuck (and looking only to yourself for approval)!
Great post man! It is so detrimental to your life/progress if you keep track of irrelevant people evaluating you.
Whenever I catch myself still wanting approval or acceptance I refer myself back to this Fight Club quote:
“We buy things we don’t need with money, we don’t have to impress people we don’t like”
In congruence with your second point – it is very important to define your own values. What YOU stand for – and act accordingly.
Keep up the good work!
Thanks man! And I couldn’t agree more with you on living up to your values (as a form of self-validation).
But what if your values are proving impossible to live up to??
I would challenge this statement, I don’t think any values are impossible to live up to.
Agree.
The moment you seek approval from others you relinquish that part of you that you seek to protect which is a completely counter productive non rational action.
Hey right on man ,thank you l just caught this in the web and l can personally say fuck yeah you made my Outlook on life different now and I’m going to reread this article again.
Btren14@eq.edu.au can I date you
This is an absolutely brilliant post, a real eye opener, it will certainly help me to look at things differently.
It’s so easy to get caught up in your small groups and constantly worry about what people are thinking or trying to gain their approval.
👍
Here’s a daily reminder to help you stop giving a fuck.
https://wordsasgifts.com/products/fucks-to-give-13oz-gift-jar-encouragement-gift
If more people had this same outlook the world would be a better place, I have lived by the rule of not giving a rates arse or giving a fuck what people think of you! Your an individual and no one can take that away we all have had good and bad shit happen to use but it how we deal with it mentally and physically that makes us strong, the world really has everyone questioning there own self world wtf
David…great article! Concise but with some good, actionable knowledge. I would add one thing. The better you look after yourself, the better you become at taking care of those you really care about.
David,
Great post. I’ve recently been doing the things you’ve listed here more and more. I’ve notice that some of my “friends” feel threatened by my lack of fucks given and being focused on my needs because it makes them feel like shit for their bad life choices, but ultimately I don’t care what they think.
You can’t let others dictate how you live this short time we all have here.
Thanks Jake, and great point, it’s definitely common to feel “held back” by friends or family members who are living a life marked by complacency and a general lack of happiness.
Jake, one of the best things you can do is to coach your friends the same way David is coaching us on self confidence. If they are willing to listen and take your advice, it is very fulfilling to see someone improve from your coaching. It is a form of self approval.
Great point John. Teaching and coaching are great ways to advance your knowledge/understanding and internalize different concepts/lessons.
Great post mate. Usually we have spent our whole life giving too many fucks rather than actually living it. Eye opener. Thanks.
Thanks Sam, glad you liked the post man.
I agree, life is short. And fuck the “otherside”, those pessimistic, controlling and narcissist bastards can blow me! I got my life to live, not yours. I am to the point where I WILL NOT give any fucks to anyone. I will pursue MY goals while everyone else procrastinates and concerns themselves with an endless amount of “what if” and “in a minute” senarios. Thanks man this helped alot.
I’m a singer that likes to release certain type songs, that friends tell me if u need customers to book u on gigs you need to release different type songs, so I think I’d feel much better when I just release what I feel to release but then I’m afraid people are right and maybe these songs wouldn’t bring any gigs for me, I’m confused, I’d appreciate comments thanks
I am a woman but I agree.
So I Googled “what do you do when you just don’t give a fuck anymore,” and came across this article. How I have been giving all my fucks to others I will never please was alarming. Thank you for putting some things into perspective, I’m glad I did the Google search…hahaha! 🤣
Hi David, I understand your train of logic and I like it for the most part. But how do you balance not caring about what other people think with empathy and caring about their opinions? I value the opinions of the people around me because I know that I am biased, and I can’t see things an external perspective can. I also care about what other people think just because their feelings are important to me. But I also care about my own feelings and values. So how do I balance these two things? How do I selectively decide that how I feel is more important or decide that I want to make the other person more at ease. I don’t the like of a world where people don’t care about others or their opinions. Yeah, we shouldn’t let them trap us, but not caring at all? How is that any different from being an asshole? I’m just confused, lol.
Dude I need more advice! Get back to me if you can! Thanks for your time
Really needed this article bro. I already feel a weight lifted off my chest, thanks.
Thanks Pierre, I’m glad it helped my man.
Lets flip this a little to the other extreme. Lets say I live a life where I genuinely don’t give a flying fuck about other people, maybe i’m just desensitized from years of the service industry. How can a reign this back in?
Do you not give a fuck about what other people think about you? Or do you not give a fuck about other people?
Some people are very self-centered and don’t really care about other people, but they’re still very self-conscious.
I wouldn’t say I’m self-centered as I do like to help people but I just find it difficult to actually care anymore. I don’t really derive any benefit beyond those feel goods you get, which isn’t bad, but even that has diminished to the point to not make it worth it anymore.
If you feel indifferent towards most of the people in your life (friends, family, loved ones) then I would suggest trying to bring some real vulnerability into these relationships.
For example, sharing some things you’re insecure about with these people, and giving them brutally honest advice (that you normally wouldn’t for fear of hurting their feelings).
Richard SCOTT MORELAND from Oxnard California Ventura county California and me it’s Christmas time for the world for the people who matter of my life and good bye
David, it was great to nod my head yes to my boss, and smile inside because I don’t give a fuck; he needs me to complete his process. I’m getting paid to do it and I do it well. But I am motivated by the positive effect on my goals. He’s the tool, I’m the cog that makes him unknowingly meet my own goals. You are a prescient dude. Thanks!
Thanks Dan, but I’m not 100% sure what you’re saying about your boss and your goals.
Oh I totally get what you’re saying Dan.
Sick advice. Today I had the epiphany that our life is short and when we die, nothing really matters except our legacy. From this I deduced that while we are here, we should do the things we want to do and never try to live for others (whether parents, a spouse, friends, peer group, etc) except your kids. It is a mistake to pursue a prestigious career or try to be very rich just to “prove yourself”. That’s not the way to live. Be okay with everything and pursue your hobbies (as you say), and try to leave a legacy if that makes you happy.
When I say “be okay with everything”, I mean be okay with how you are and the choices you make. And of course developing strong habits is crucial too.
Good insights Emmanuel. When you constantly seek approval, you can basically never be “ok with everything”, because the choices you make and hobbies you pursue are only “ok” if other people think so.
This post helped me so much, i am feeling very good and Confident. Now I can accomplish my dreams and goals.
All I can say is “Thank You” very much #David.
Thanks Jimmy, I’m it helped you out!
I needed this! It’s not going to be easy but I know once I make this my choice it will release much better energy.
Awesome post man!
I’ve been needing to read an article like this for a while now…
Lately, I’ve been super self-conscious and always worrying about what other people are thinking of me and trying to keep a “good guy” image in their minds.
It’s such a silly thing come to think of it. First of all, it’s very manipulative thinking and the other thing is, it’s impossible to have everyone like you, because everyone thinks differently.
But most importantly, like you said, living your life trying to meet others’ expectations of you is a “recipe for disaster”. I see why now and I appreciate your words of wisdom.
Thanks again for inspiring me.
– Steve Daniels
Thank you Steve – glad it was helpful. I truly believe this is one of the most important mindset shifts you can make.
Stand up for the people who matter
This is my number one thing that holds me back and causes anxiety. I appreciate the article. Which one of your books goes more in depth on this topic? I bought Cool, Calm and Collected a few mins ago and will check out some of your other work. Thanks.
Thanks Steve. My new book Mindset Mastery goes into more detail about this one – http://amzn.to/2c6rnqI
Thanks David. I’ll check it out when I’m done. I listened to half of the other book today.
FYI….I like the audio versions. Easy for me to listen in the car.
I gotcha, the audio version of the new book should be out soon. Just submitted it to Audible.
This article has changed the way i think. Thank you so much 😉 ^^
Thanks Mummad, I’m glad it helped.
WOW! These techniques worked for me! Really great, thanks!
Comment
great post.
i want to tell something, i recently went rejected from the girl i had a die hard crush on.
we dated and so, and we talked like we like each other and suddenly due to her family reasons, she rejected me because she thinks that there is no future with me although i am a med student and going to be surgeon some seven years from now.
the thing that goes 24 hours my mind is that even if due to family reasons she is reasoning that she cant be with me but i keep on thinking whether she liked me or not, it means that i just want me to be a part or memory of her life that she never forgets.
i think this all day and i am being very sad from a month, would you please suggest me something?
You have to accept reality, man.
Maybe she liked you, maybe not. It’s not worth your time and energy to worry about it though. It can only cause you more harm.
I think you are best to move on…She probably does love you, but her family more! And if she did stay with you, her family will always be a problem in your life. Better to find this out now! Just saying…
This is a super solid post, David. Inspired me to write my own version of this.
I will concur with you and say that yes – you need something that has a greater magnetic pull that the pull that makes you care about stuff you don’t need to care about whatsoever.
You have to add to the fact that most people don’t really care that much about you. In the reality of most people, you’re only here and there for a brief period of time. In fact, for most of us – you’re only here for a brief period of time.
Caring too much about the opinions of other people is a one-way trip to the mental ward. Why waste your finite life on it?
As I said earlier, I was pretty inspired by this post, I made a counter-point to back it up. It’s saying the same thing…but with a slightly different slant.
If anyone wants to check it out, here it is: http://www.unstoppablerise.com/how-to-stop-seeking-validation/
As always, your article is dope my man!
You know what happened after ive read this article? I have made two new friends that day!! Thanks for this👏💕
That’s awesome! Glad you liked the article
I have found that the moment I stopped caring what other people thought about me was the moment that my life began to change. Almost as if my mind and body screamed “Finally, we’re free”, things started to happen.
I quit my job, began working away at my own website, worked harder at amassing rental properties and dramatically reshaped who I was.
It is interesting that throughout our adolescence and into adulthood we are bombarded with images, words and people who convince us that they only way to “make it” is to take heed of the opinion of others. Shameful as this is, it cripples society and creates an army of drones whose only objective in life is to fit in.
This makes a lot of sense. Thank you for actually explaining how to not give a fuck
Thanks man!
THANK YOU!
This topic is not covered enough! The amount of people suffering with this issue is stopping so many people from fulfilling there true potential. Awesome post and great blog!
Thanks man! Definitely an under-covered issue.
Well am gonna give it a try. I really hope it works!
what if we have a wife. and if she expects something or our parents. what to do with them
I’m a people pleaser, and so I care until I’m a bowl full of jelly. I hate it. I end up obsessing over someone being mad at me. I try so hard to not make people mad. But inevitably they seem to turn on me. I think I’m so nice that people think they can treat me however they want. I feel like a wounded animal and the predators can smell blood:(
Have the same problem which is why i read this article. Im just sick of giving a fuck but its so automatic to me now that I cant stop obsessing over making people dislike me. Its so stupid though. All this wasted time and energy. Not worth it. Thanks for the article.
Dude this is amazing!!! This is exactly why the people have no balls and can’t stand up to the evil in the world. Good read bro spread the truth!
Thanks bro!
Thank you so much for this article!!
This is a very common problem I face and this habit of giving fucks of what people might think about me, makes me self doubt and these thoughts literally torture me.
I waste my time crying and feeling drowned in self doubt, so much so that I don’t let my true inner potentials come out. Whereas, I personally know I’m capable of doing great things in life. But just because, people don’t approve of how I look or I behave, it often becomes a hurdle in my process of doing something good.
I have realised that as far as my actions do not harm anybody, I can just be myself and put all the necessary energy into doing something that makes life worth living and not waste it in the irrelevant emotions.
I have spent many many months, looking for validation from people after a dreadful heartbreak and the succeeding depression.
I felt judged and unworthy of myself.
But now I realise, that it’s not important for people to give you fucks. Only your own fuck matters !
Thank you so much!
This was a breakthrough for me!
So glad I came across this post 🙂
This is the best thing I had ready in a while!! Thank you for this
Damn! That hit the spot! I read some of your previous comments and it was good that you mentioned about not giving a fuck about what others think vs not giving a fuck about people. There is a huge difference as I was confusing both. Thanks and big cheers!
Thank you bro! Glad the article helped
Oh man! You totally made my day! Just what I have been looking for. Last two days were just bummer. I was on the road to feeling better and I read this and I am back to feeling like myself. thankssssssssssss 🙂 🙂 🙂
Glad it helped!!
Omg I so needed this! Thank u for sharing. I’m now off to check out your books etc 💛
Glad it helped!
this dude is changing my life
Glad that I can help bro!
Thank you this has changed my life around!
I love this article purely because its so relatable nowadays especially, Thanks for this David!
You’re welcome!
Hey David. So I have social anxiety and am always giving a fuck what people might think of me. One reason is that I’m an Indian guy at a white school and afraid of approaching/talking to girls because of what they might think of me. Do you think race/appearance really matters? Do you think girls will really care about appearance or the confidence in a guy?
it’s not worth wasting your time worrying about it. Improve your appearance (work out, style, haircut, grooming) and then just take action and talk to girls
Took your advice fella.The minute I gave up giving a rats arse was the day my life changed, I still value people but not manipulated by them.Best thing was I kicked out all antidepressant shirt.
You dropped this 👑
Hi Boss David, this article helped me a lot. I am sick and tired of all this people around me, who are very controlling and manipulative. At work or in the flat I am staying. I will fight for my freedom. Thru not giving a Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo. Thank you My Friend.
but isnt trying to not give a fuck…already giving a fuck?
Hey David…lol I dnt kno if im commenting on a really old blog or not, but tbh I dnt really giv a fuck. I find ur blog empowering and thnk u r awesome. I mean I am a pretty confident grl but ur blog gave me that push I needed. Thnx. Ur awesome x
I so agree with the point that if u keep depending on someone’s approval then u ll b always chasing it…this was me some years ago..but after a lot of lessons life taught me i finally now realize that your happiness is just you and not anybody else’s opinion
thank you l’ll let you know if this really helped me in about 5 months 😀
David, if I really dislike martial arts but really like working out, can I just not do martial arts and just work out? I feel there’s a pressure now every guy should learn how to fight when it is a huge commitment for something that I don’t enjoy.
Really inspiring post, thank you!
One thing I am thinking though (and that’s not to take away from the awesomeness of the post) is that when someone has serious issues with seeking approval, that might come from a very young age and be rooted in some serious issues with parents, etc..And ultimately, that might need to be explored in therapy and require some serious in depth work.
I guess what I am trying to say is that the advice is great, but sometimes finding the root of the problem might be the only way to snap out of unhealthy habits. And that if you don’t succeed after using these great tips alone, there is nothing wrong in seeking help!
Well Said
I ended up here by accident, but after i read this article i realized how i screwed up my life by those trifle feelings Any way nice article.
This post may be spot on for some people, but misses the mark for a whole segment of the population. Some people give a fuck, not because they are seeking approval or validation, but because of their upbringing or because it’s the right thing to do.
I for one don’t need the approval of anyone, and my value as a human being is best determined by me not by some stranger who knows nothing about me.
The reason I don’t give a fuck is because so many of the world’s population are stupid and incompetent, and can’t breathe without assistance from another human being. Stated differently, some people are takers and other are givers. I hate takers, and I’m sick and tired of being a giver without as much as a thank you in return.
Loved your article. I have a colleague that hasn’t spoken to me in months. Really bothered me for a while and one day I just didn’t give a fuck anymore. I just figured – hell lady – must be awful to be you. Wanna carry a grudge? Enjoy. My conscience is clear.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!! You don’t know what u have done for me today.
Great work man!
This is GENIUS!
i really appriciate your points ,they make so much sense when i look at my life im grateful for your ruthless honest . IM DONE GIVING A FUCK ABOUT WHAT THEY THINK . Thank you
Hi David I got to know you from a friend Kennedy at my school…I normally feel shy relating with girls and he’s better at it so I talked to him and he gave me the name of your channel and I love it .it’s teaching me all I need to know I wish I could get your number in private so we could talk more..thanks
Excellent points stated.love this article.everything written so true.helped me majorly.
One of the main things I do that I give to many fucks about is pay really close attention to my own body language because I feel I look closed off or uncomfortable and I don’t want people to see me that way and I know I shouldn’t care so much but if I stop caring and then stop paying attention and continue looking angry/not interested then people might treat me differently which once again I shouldn’t give a fuck but as far as those people who I care about like friends/family I want to be open and for them to understand me I’m just paranoid idk and also for people I wanna date I feel like they will think I don’t like them if I look closed off
when i was scrolling through your website, i saw the good works that you have been putting on your website.your articles are so interesting and it is like i have never seen an article like yours before.keep on doing the good work that
you are putting on your unique website and i will keep on viewing your updates.
I’m a Korean and you are literally changing my life, David. Thank you so much. I could feel the motivation that potentially comes from my heart while reading your article. You’re an awesome dude. Thank you so much again.
Great article – I will start practicing these immediately.
Exactly what I needed to hear, right now. Thanks for the life-changing article!
i want job in call center
Get your ex lover back with Lord Zakuza powerful spells. Email him on ( lordzakuza7@ gmail. com )..
I think this is strategically privacy hacking and since y’all are sadly hide behind-the-scenes at ir lol computers that u got me hands down out learned I will say this got thr point noe kindly get the fuck out my personal space shit
That’s why ive been not giving a fuck cuz fake friends,shit everything that goes wrong i live in the moments but wont trip if a real bro/sis friend changes on me cuz gotta live life with experiences when good things can happen. some good quotes are “treat yourself, don’t cheat yourself”, “live life to the fullest”, “ Get busy living or get busy dying”, “you cant go back and change beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending”.
These are good and shit.
This makes a lot of sense. Thank you for actually explaining how to not give a fuck
Thank you for wonderful article. I m sure it has helped many people. I could so co-relate it with me. I have been doing a real disaster to me. However the steps you provided are really too easy and smooth to follow. Helped a lot really…it did wonders to me.
I love this..Happy to have my Man back after 3 months of breakup, .., thanks E-mail: Robinson.buckler (@) yahoo com….. I was also cured from herpes with herbal Med
wonderfully exciting
How incredibly
You’re the best
Hi man, great article. Right now I´m practicing seduction, I´m just beginning and whenever I approach a girl and it goes awkward I feel so cringe about it and can´t stop thinking about it for quite some time, but when it goes fine and a girl gives me her number I feel great and so motivated.
What I want to achieve is to feel great at any moment, even when they reject me. I think I just have to keep practicing till I reach that point.
Thanks David!
Your advice sounds so strong and empowering. I’m just worried that if I ignore what other people think about me then I’m sacrificing self respect. I don’t know how long its going to take for me to apply this into real life. When someone rejects me and accepts someone else it feels like I’m the bad guy or I’m not worthy. Anyway apart from your advice, my life needs to change then that means its worth a shot trying hard and working and practicing not to care about what other people think.
First part of article:
You should stop seeking attention
From 10 seconds into video:
“how to start getting respect and attention from everyone in your life”
…I mean, it’s hypocritical right? In these other comments you give super great advice, but the start of that video should have been closer to “how to feel comfortable with yourself and less stressed in your day to day life”. That would’ve been more congruent. Or pick a side and stick to it.
1. How to not care about the lack of attention you are receiving
or
2. How to actually get the attention you want more efficiently
You do give great material for both sides though. Just don’t try to do both is I suppose what I’m saying. It’s never worked for me. Best of luck.
P.S. – Bro you swole af keep at it haha
I recently started a job in customer service and it has been over 3 months at and it has been overwhelming to me. I spent the rest of my adult life working in healthcare where I knew I was doing a good job, didn’t need approval. With this job I am taking every thing to heart and it is wearing me down. I searched ‘how not to give a shit” on google and found this. I’m going to practice what you preach and I think it will have a positive impact on the issues I’m dealing with. The last few years of my life were a disaster in every way so I’m trying to rebuild and I think learning to not give a fuck again is a major part of my recovery to happiness. Thanks for taking the time to write this article.
Hey. Men’s articles are delivered in a manner I prefer so thanks for this gem.
My question is how do I not give a fuck but still give a fuck? I mean there are times when I’m supposed to give a fuck right? About how I treat people and for example about my husband’s opinions, needs and wants, and feelings. This isn’t a license to be an asshole on the regular, so how do I balance it out?
You’re absolutely right. There’s always a balance to everything in life.
The advice of this article is NOT to NEVER give a fuck but instead to choose what things are the most important in life that is worthy for your fucks.
Things that are not vital for your happiness and welfare but instead trivial or mundane are not worthy of your fucks.
David, do you own a shirt?
but what if my goal needs people’s cooperation to achive it, like their supports or they give me some space.
what do i do?
Ya know… ah, what’s your name again.. oh ya, David, I stumbled onto this blog and it’s somewhat interesting and has some merit, but it’s also obviously interesting that you only reply to favorable comments and not to discouraging comments. In other words, you do give a fuck about people who praise you and it’s rewarding I get it. Ya know, I worked out in my day.. cut muscled body.. minimal fat percentage.. all that stuff, but I’m old now. Other interests, like starting a rockin blues band.. fly fishing, whatever keep me going.. not the approval of others or “give a fuck” as you put it.. so different strokes for different folks.. right?
The article is good and all but why is it directed to men only
Like… if you wanna do that, then you should’ve mentioned that in the title of the article
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I found this article to be a much-needed wake-up call for me personally. I’ve always been someone who worries about what others think of me, and it’s been holding me back in many areas of my life. The idea that most people are too self-conscious to judge me, and that the high of getting approval never lasts, is a powerful reminder for me to focus on building a lifestyle that I can be proud of, regardless of what others think.
Thanks for the great read David!
Cool. Did you draw inspiration from Mark Manson’s book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life (2016)? Or vice versa? 🙂
Man, this is impressive. And I’d Appreciate u for this wonderful post. But guess what..! I’m Putting this to practice from henceforth💯