Are you alpha?
The term alpha has become some sort of popular internet catchphrase as of late. Marketers, bloggers, and everyone’s mother is jumping on the bandwagon.
Hell, even I have. Earlier this year I released a book called The Book of Alpha. And you know what? It sells like fucking hotcakes. People love this shit.
But what is an alpha male? We all want to be one, that’s for sure. We all want to be the guy who men respect and women lust for. But these are just a couple results of being alpha, not a roadmap to getting there. And before we can concern ourselves with how to get there, we must identify where there even is.
In this article I’ll do my best to define the top ten traits of a true alpha male. Sure, this will probably differ from what some other people believe alpha to be, but that’s the point – aside from a few universal qualities, our personal perceptions of alpha are a reflection of our own values. There is no one strict definition.
1. He’s courageous
The alpha male is not fearless. Nobody is fearless. We all have insecurities and fears that we cannot control. However the alpha male is able to push on in a particular direction in spite of his fears.
He may be afraid that his new business will fail, but that won’t stop him from trying. He may be afraid that the cute receptionist will reject his advances, but he’ll go for it anyway.
2. He can control his emotions
How we react to unfavorable circumstances plays a large role in our lives. If the shit hits the fan and you’re fired, or you’re dumped, or you’re viciously insulted – how will you react?
The alpha male will react by taking a series of deep breaths and evaluating his next best action, he won’t lash out emotionally and dig himself a grave.
3. He has a purpose
It doesn’t matter if you want to be a professional athlete, an accountant, a CEO, or a world-traveler – but it does matter that you want something. When we know where we’re heading – when we have a direction in life – we’re filled with a sense of motivation and determination. Our days are spent making progress and striving for improvement. And this comes through in our thoughts, actions, and overall demeanor.
The alpha male always has a purpose. He never just floats around aimlessly.
4. He’s not afraid to make decisions
The fear of making decisions is actually a fear of dealing with the consequences of making the wrong decision, whether that means eating at a shitty restaurant or investing in a shitty company. This stems from the courage we covered in number 1 above, but it deserves its own number because people recognize decision makers. And they identify them as leaders. And alpha males are not afraid to lead.
5. He’s not afraid to say what’s on his mind
People have grown overly sensitive. All too often we don’t say what we’re really thinking. Maybe we’re afraid to hurt someone’s feelings. Or maybe we’re afraid of starting a confrontation.
The alpha male proceeds and states his honest opinion despite this fear. No, he doesn’t do it haphazardly to the point where he’s needlessly making people feel like shit or starting worthless fights, but he doesn’t let an uncomfortable interaction stop him from getting what he wants.
6. He doesn’t let any one thing rule his life
Some people become consumed by their careers. Others are consumed by their relationships. When this happens, everything else starts to fall apart. Their health declines, their career declines, and their relationships are ruined.
The alpha male recognizes that life must be balanced. Work, love, health, and friends are all essential areas that must be cultivated in order to maintain a strong lifestyle across the board.
7. He maintains his physical health
How we feel and how we act starts from within. If we’re 300 pounds overweight and we haven’t slept in 3 days, then nothing else matters. Without a strong, healthy body we cannot have a strong, healthy mind. And other people’s perceptions of us will also deteriorate. After all, first impressions are everything, and what do you think when a fat slob stumbles into your path at the grocery store?
The alpha male values his body above all else, because he recognizes that without his health, nothing else matters. He eats well, and he lifts weights.
8. He’s not afraid to say “no”
People will ask you for favors in life. This is inevitable. And if the benefit of the favor to the other person outweighs the cost of doing the favor to you, then it should be done. But these costs and benefits should be measured. The alpha male is not a pushover. He doesn’t blindly oblige to the whims and requests of others. If his boss asks him to stay late, but he has plans elsewhere, then he kindly says “no” and moves on.
He doesn’t feel the need to explain himself either. He’s not saying “no” out of hatred or contempt, but rather because he’s looking out for his best interests. Selfishness is underrated. I’m not saying to be a selfish asshole, but if we all looked out for ourselves, then we’d all be much better off.
9. He acknowledges his weaknesses
If you’re blind to your weaknesses then you’re setting yourself up for failure. They will continue to undermine you at every step of your life until they’re addressed and improved. It doesn’t matter if it’s a categorical weakness like being bad with women or a character weakness like being impatient (this is my achilles heel).
The alpha male doesn’t get depressed about having a weakness. And he doesn’t deny it out of a sense of pride. Instead he realizes that he’s lacking, and he moves to fix it.
10. He holds himself with a strong posture
The final item on this list is a physical one. How we hold ourselves directly impacts how we feel and how others perceive us. The alpha male doesn’t slouch forward or stare down at his feet when he’s talking to you. He holds his head high and looks you in the eye. And this strong, confident posture is mirrored inside of him.
Alphas do not engage in malicious gossip backstabbing, and being two faced. These are effeminate characteristics. Alphas stop this behavior when possible by speaking against it when confronted with it. Alphas encourage constructive interactions, and a sample rebuttal of gossip and backstabbing goes something like this, “So, it sounds like you are mad at INSERT NAME. It is none of my business, but are you going to discuss this with THE PERSON INSERTED ABOVE, or are you going to whine behind his back and talk shit? Do not talk shit about someone when I am around unless that person is standing in front of you and listening!” Good leaders discourage gossip.
Pretty good comment.
I have to disagree with the point about valuing body over all else, cultivating a strong mind is far more important. You can be out of shape and still alpha.
Love this thank you for sharing
💯
FACTSSSSS. SO TRUE. We just all on beast mode rn ngl. I’ve been alpha since 2016. Females FLOCK me constantly.
But in all seriousness I can smell the toxic masculinity and all the insecurities from this comment section through my screen. You’re all just stock market obsessed freaks that spend their time on reddit laughing at a 50 year old virgin’s homophobic/misogynistic and just overall stupid posts. You spend your days acting as if you are all mighty and “alpha” without actually doing anything productive with your life.
Instead of being sexist assholes on the internet, go do some research on how to contribute the least amount possible to oppression.
Thanks
Love Fred
Effeminate characteristics? Sounds like a chauvinist/arrogant macho type of comment. I’m a woman and I hate gossip. Stop generalizing. Not a mature alpha male characteristic at all.
This comment on gossip is SPOT ON! No time for any two faced conversations. I barely have time to take care of my life much less anyone else’s. Shut it down, tell them not me! As far as healthy mind over body? That’s a a balance obviously, you can’t have one without the other. If you’re 300 lbs. your not going to be completely honest with yourself in the fact that you’re healthy unless you are 6′ 6″! Lol! But different strokes I guess. Personally I’ve trained myself mentally and physically my whole life and I’m now 54 years old and have had what I would consider respectable success in life. I attribute that to both. It goes back to the old story “One chance at a first impression”. That first glance is the most important in most circumstances in business to my experience. Your smile, your suit hell even down to your shoes! Yes your shoes do count! If your shoes look like shit against your brand new Brooks Brothers suit the old school guys that know how to dress for success will notice. If you threw that together what else are you faking? Sounds petty but it’s true! Alpha males are brutal and all the Alpha males reading this know that this is no bullshit. We’ll pick you apart in 30 seconds or less and leave your ass bleeding on the floor!! Lol!! You think that the ladies are tough? Shit…walk in the room with 10 40 something alphas we’ll hand you your ass if your socks aren’t gold toe! I want to see you light up a cigar pal! Fuck your portfolio are your cuff links real? Some things are tried and true, your clubs, your car, where you live and what you do. But at the end of the day it what you look like and what you wear. Sorry for hurting your feelings but that’s the truth. It’s been that way forever since the first time that bell rang in Wall Street and it hasn’t really changed yet. So your road is rocky boys if you’re interested in being the big dog on the porch! My advice? Hit the gym, get your road work in and you better dress yourself for success! Look them in the eye and fake it til’ you make it baby! Oh yeah! Lying, cheating and kicking someone’s ass now and then when necessary will definitely help your reputation as you climb the ladder to the top! Good luck grasshopper!
I had a bad experience by the looks of
It
From this list it seems to me that a lot of the men who try and portray themselves as alpha are actually selfish pussies.
Thank you Logan, You described this person i know very well.
I agree 100%.
I totally agree with the comment, that you can be out of shape and Alpha. My uncle owned 2 restaurants and a 300 employee janitorial company in Seattle. Major achievement for a black guy in the USA. Needless to say, he couldn’t spell the word gym…
A true Alpha does not try to portray. Many of the things on this list live within that individual. Someone who try’s to show they are Alpha are just hiding behind many insecurities
I agree 100% . I was fat and insecure before , now i hit the gym 6 times a week for 9 month. I look fucking muscular and my confidence to the roof!!
Everywhere i go now women stare at me and guys feels intimidating.
So go hit the gym guys! . Strong mind strong body
People named after towns usually work in a warehouse LOGAN. I read that in a statistical analysis somewhere. Is that true LOGAN? I guess it doesn’t matter, based solely on guess work, probably not objective. Did you graduate from high school LOGAN? I’m curious about that because it seems like this subject may have stuck a nerve with you. What’s your favorite color LOGAN? Is it selfish to be firm or self confident? It’s interesting that you’re sensitive about your being a beta. There’s nothing wrong with that. You’re not alone in being a beta male, listen, not every man is cut out for the role of being an alpha man. It’s okay. You will always be a beta. Make the most of it. Hold doors for alphas like me, thank us for being alpha males, compliment us for being who we are. Study our beauty majestic stature as we walk by. Notice how we never make eye contact with you when we look through you when we order our drinks or our food. When you ask yourself why is she with him? Just know that we’re making more alpha males that will never be named LOGAN! Their names will be Anything but LOGAN! We never name our children after towns, or cars like Mercedes or Porches! Lol So in the future don’t judge people all in one basket! Please don’t just heap everyone in one giant heap and label us with a big sticker like I just did! It’s not nice, I didn’t mean it because I wasn’t being serious, I was just kidding but it’s not a nice thing to do. Being confident about yourself and being a dick is 2 very different things. My nephew is LOGAN and I love him very much and I really like the name. It’s hurtful to be judgemental because of how a person carries themselves. You know, “a book by its cover?” Great anecdote LOGAN! Hey? Do you work in a warehouse really? Just kidding! Hahaha
NOFAP
more about my Uncle…lol, when he walked into a room, the whole room would be on tilt in his direction, without any effort. His divorce judge asked him out!
i heard Shaq say him and Kobe were alpha males so i looked it up never knew they were alpha males
Having the time of my life. This is a good article. Keep in mind that there are probably multiple Alphas in a workplace. However it is a man that comes to mind… whenever I hear the word alpha. I am always attracted to them. Lol. The good news men….there can be more than one in a large group. Try to work together to benefit everyone.
musachi said that the most important thing about the warrior was that he uncompromisingly accepted death. To me this suggests that the key to being an Alpha Male is that you face life unafraid. Since fear is a learned emotional response, unlearning it is possible.. I use Psycholinguistics to eliminate this learned program by using the following sentence pair: “I used to think I should be afraid. Now, I know I should not be afraid. ” I use Psyche K Balancing and the Theta State to bypass my superego and enter my subconscious, which thinks only in the present tense. When maladaptive programs are framed in the past tense, the superego doesn’t know what to do with them, so it disregards them and accepts the second half of the sentence pair. You can also do this with other bad emotional programs: Shame, Sadness, Loneliness, Depression. I also lift heavy weights, look after my health, and do everything I can do to be the Alpha I am naturally.
Excellent, thoughtful reply. Thanks!
Good one David
A so called Alpha male, is a male who does not think of himself as an Alpha. But he can see the behaviors of other people and then walk away. He see the behavior of other men in his
life, and think. I will never act in that way.
Grown men are acting like children, what is that? For example: They play mobile games with their phone, while they’re at work, or: watching youtube.com videos. They are not available mentally. Or they take up their phone in the middle of the conversation, and just disappear.
This type of behavior is not Alpha behaviors.
Gossiping is poison for his soul. He can’t stand it.
He can’t stand people who are braging. For example: Their new fridge…their car…their children… and so on. An Alpha wants honesty and deep conversation, and to brag just shows that you are insecure about something. Why do you need to buy new stuff all the time to feel good about yourself?
If someone does him wrong, really wrong, he just walks away. He doesn’t accept that behavior. And he does not tell you, he only dissappear from your life. And he doesn’t take you back.
For example: A friend steals something from his toolbox (not overly expensive, but not cheap). The Alpha doesn’t say anything, he just walks away, and shut that person out of his life.
He is who he is. He accept himself, and try to love himself.
He are more kind to other people then himself.
He does not try to force, anything on someone.
Life is self respect.
He’s life is development, to be the best self he can be. To help other people.
He respect his body.
He works-out regularly.
He respect other people. It does not matter what they work with. He respect and treat every single person he meet in a good way.
Also, with respect to his body.
For example: He does not chase women all day and night, and have sex with multiple girls he doesn’t know, to just feel the penetration, and the pussy. He respect himself to much for that.
He does not chase women, this includes texting women all day. He have no time to just sitting around and wait for them to respond.
He are out and doing important stuff for himself or other people.
He can text girls and so, but not in the way that a Beta males do it.
He does not hang on social media. He knows that social media is timewasting.
He is a focused man.
He wants honesty from people.
He let the right women come to him.
He is not a man who wants surface relationships. He wants deep connections with people around him. Not all people, only those who are open for it.
Some people you can feel, that they have no depth to their personality. They have only a surface. They are hiding who they are? And not honest with themselves and others? They doesn’t see the true reality? They try to be someone they aren’t, if they need to act Alpha for example.
A man can act alpha. But if they aren’t an Alpha, they are forcing something on you. And that’s not Alpha behavior. If someone try to put you down, they ARE NOT ALPHA. This is a good way to spot an Beta male, trying to act Alpha.
An Alpha male takes care of his body and physical and mental health.
And the last thing. An Alpha knowns what he wants from life, and he are willing to make sacrifice to get there.
Complete horse shit, for the most part…
Because you are a beta, mangina, white knight
I will never understand why being a “white knight” is considered a bad thing.
Cherry Valentina, the man you are describing is not an Alpha male. He is a Beta male, trying to act Alpha.
That’s is.
A true alpha male uproots trees with his bare hands and smites his enemies with branches he’s stripped with his teeth. Of course, this isn’t a comprehensive description of the chap but it gives a glimpse for the unenlightened.
James Bond 007 is a typical alpha male
ALPHIA MALE — is the man that the most intelligent, beautiful, hot good breeding stock women must have .. He is gentle , slow but rough strong and takes her love, she will want no other. she will want his children. She is always searching for him.
are you talking about a man or about the ring of Sauron ?
I dealt with an alpha male the past few years and I’m thinking about reconsidering. It is extremely depressing. I feel too different. There’s no emotions at all. Everything is his way. He cares less about what he says that can hurt others…. It is extremely stressful. I like a strong minded man and definitely don’t want a pushover. I am use to being smothered and paid attention too. He pays attention but its to different I try to adjust, but I can’t. He has extremely little to NO emotion…. I have grown to him and have feelings for him. Im just use to complete different. The intimacy is exactly what I like its amazing but its not worth the trouble. Im attached to his kids also…
Nice!
There is some truth to every comment, but does anyone realize that an alpha requires a beta. In that is his weakness.
Wow love my Alpha Males it it so refreshing and so powerful to the point where if you can master all these traits it is so sexy.
Alpha males are those which do what needs to be done at the time. The term Alpha Male actually comes from primates. Especially in gorillas. There can be only one Silverback gorilla and THIS IS ALWAYS a male. I know that sounds sexist but have you ever seen an Alpha Male that was FEMALE. They dont exist.
I am a beta. I am a business partner to an alpha. He is definitely the man. Both of us love our positions. He controls everything but then looks out for me. He sometimes makes decisions against his best interest to make sure that I am cared for. I do look up to him and I am thrilled that he is in my life
suce bite va
A true alpha male uproots trees with his bare hands and smites his enemies with branches he’s stripped with his teeth. Of course, this isn’t a comprehensive description of the chap but it gives a glimpse for the unenlightened.
I think your list is missing the mark. These are all tied to an image, a representatiin, a portrayal. Alphas are not concerned with image, or fronting, so the idea that one must be an adonis to qualify is both insultingly narrowminded and self-aggrandizement. An alpha simply is, based on a core set of priniples, chief among these being self determination (means simply that no one makes me do anything, it’s all about whether the consequences are worth it) – this fits nicely with your analysis bit on favors, but applies to everything. Fear, just an analysis of safety and hesitation vs. risk and reward. Staying late at work? An analysis of reputation (we really need your help on this!) vs. Integrity (I said I’d be there, so I will be there) – and FYI Integrity always wins. Thats why image doesnt matter, but face and respect are critical. Criticizing an alpha is not attacking a facade or front, it’s attacking an ideology that defines ones whole modus operandi. The consequences can be severe, but understanding this levels the playing field, if you know how to use it.
I really love this article ….am actually 17 yrs from Nigeria,most of your videos talks about how to me an alpha male …. I can’t wait to be a MAN
I watch almost all your videos on YouTube ,am surprised to see your website 🥰
Greet brotherman and Rollo for me
On the MICE scale for manipulation (for those unfamiliar, MICE is Money Ideology Coercion Ego) with the right personality, one of these is powerful, pairing these is extremely effective. An example- corporate reward system for entry level positions. 100 dollars and company recognition during a quarterly review ( Momey and Ego then). Now insert an alpha personality. Ego is the primary factor here, because to an alpha, Money (I will get paid what I am worth, or leave. 100 dollars is not nearly enough). Ideology (I live my ideology every day. I will not convert for you). Coercion (read my previous post and then tell me the expected outcome with this one). Ego (aah, Ego. Some say this is status, or gratification or even vanity. Its a bit more nuanced than that. I’d would say that this recognition, which feeds the competitive drive and provides self-gratification (my way is obviously right because it work!), which demands more recognition, forming a loop. I know alphas who strive for at least 3 of these rewards a year. Not for the money, its barely a blip on their paychecks, refer to that note on money above. No its for the Ego, the recognition, like a brand name endorsement. A very useful tool against alphas indeed).