The following is a guest article from Sarah Jones. Sarah is the creator of IntrovertedAlpha.com where she helps introverted men attract women naturally…
You’re on a first date with a beautiful woman. She was attracted enough to go on a first date with you (even if through a two-dimensional Tinder lens), so what will leave her wanting a second?
Strength, openness, and boldness.
All fun, smart, and attractive women like to see those qualities in a man. And we’re about to hook you up with 10 ways you can make sure you exude them and stand out from all the boring dudes out there.
As a man, you have each of these beastly qualities somewhere in there; it’s about drawing them out in specific, intuitive ways so that you can ensure Date #2.
1. Get into the right headspace
Before you set foot out the door, get yourself into the right frame of mind, which is that your first date is a mutual exploration.
It’s not her judging you from and looking down on you from a high pedestal; it’s just two people feeling out whether there’s a connection that’s worth exploring more of. No matter the degree of connection (or lack thereof), you can still get to know and enjoy another person on your date, which is valuable. This laid-back, balanced way of seeing things is the right headspace to be in.
2. Look good
Present yourself well. Given that your date is a mutual exploration, you want to be comfortable and at ease while also assisting her in developing attraction towards you.
To do this, wear something you look and feel great in: a well-fitted button-down shirt is always a winner. As is being well-groomed. Being someone who takes care of himself and who takes pride in his body is always sexy to women… especially those who do the same.
3. Carry yourself well
The way you carry yourself says a lot about you. It says how confident you are, how relaxed you are, and how powerful you are.
To feel and look your best, you’ll want to avoid hunching over or making yourself small, and instead take up a good amount of space. There’s a mantra within the Alexander Technique posture approach that is, “Lengthen and widen.” Keeping that simple phrase in mind is helpful in maintaining open and strong body language.
4. Take her to the right venue
Take her to a place that feels great to be in and reflects well on you: a beautiful park or a great coffee shop, for example. Take her some place distinctive and pleasant.
If it’s at night, a chill cocktail lounge or new bar is a great choice.
5. Let conversation flow naturally
A date is not an interview, but it can feel like one when one person is barraging the other with meaningless questions.
Do you really care how many brothers and sisters she has or where she went to school? If you do, then by all means go for it. But if not, steer clear. Make sure that everything you say, you mean. Every question you ask, you should genuinely want to know the answer to. Doing this puts you at ease and helps you stay present in the moment, which is definitely a good look on you.
6. Lead well
To lead well, you need to accept that you’re not going to know every little thing to say and do, but it’s okay because you trust your basic intuition.
As long as you know the basics and you trust yourself to handle whatever comes your way, you are free to lead in the conversation, touch, and flow of the date. No one does this perfectly, and it all takes practice. Remember this is not a test. You don’t need a perfect score, and in fact, there is none. Your date is simply two people feeling out whether there’s sparks flying or not.
7. Touch her!
If you want to say, “Hey, I’m scared of touch,” then don’t touch her at all. If you want to say, “Hey, I’m an asshole,” then grab her and touch her without paying any attention to how she feels.
If, on the other hand, you’d like to be a bold, strong, and open gentleman who’s comfortable with sexual attraction, then touch her lightly in conversation for awhile, paying attention to whether and how she reciprocates.
8. Read her body
If she’s not reciprocating, stay with light touch until you get a clearer indication of a yay or nay. If she is warm to your touch, then you can touch her for longer.
You can brush her skin with your hand, and you can move closer to her and put your arm around her. If you notice her feeling relaxed and engaged when you touch her, that means she’s hoping you’ll continue to escalate. She wants you to hold her, and her body will flutter with excitement when you do.
9. Be bold
Escalating touch through the course of the date as you get warm signals from her is bold. Maintaining strong, open body language is also bold. So is only saying what you mean and meaning what you say.
Holding long eye contact, allowing for silence, going for the kiss when you feel like it – all bold things. This boldness implies comfort in your own skin, which is sexy.
10. Keep your texts light
A lot of guys get really serious and all bent out of shape when they invite a woman on a second date and she doesn’t get back right away. Don’t do that!
Instead let her have time to think about how the date went, to daydream about you, to imagine seeing you again. One way to avoid being overbearing is to send her a text of a fun, funny, or beautiful photo of something that made you think of her. This is light-hearted and non-agenda based. Do this after you’ve invited her on Date #2.
When you’re easygoing, strong, and bold on the date and in your texts, then she’ll definitely want to see you again. Who wouldn’t? Think of how badass it would feel to be that guy who’s open, well-dressed, direct, and chill. Even you would want to hang out with YOU all day. It’s just icing on the cake that she’ll be chomping at the bit to spend more time with you too.