Do you have principles – or a life philosophy – that you strive to live up to?
Having a clearly defined set of principles is so important because it will guide everything you do.
Making decisions becomes effortless when you’re aware of your principles – you just make the choice that’s most in line with them.
For example, if I’m deciding whether or not to go out because I’m in the middle of a project, then I won’t go out unless I know that I’ll be able to enjoy myself and not think about my work throughout the night, because always being present is one of my principles.
Or maybe I’m considering asking a girl who I work with out for drinks, but I’m afraid of making things awkward since we’re going to be forced to see each other even if she says no. Well, in this case, I’ll ask her out anyway, because another one of my principles is always doing what I’m afraid of.
And, while I think being able to make quick decisions is one of the biggest reasons to have clearly defined principles, there are far more benefits than that. Everything from your self-confidence and your sense-of-self to how you interact with other people and how they perceive your energy and self-esteem are greatly improved when you’re acutely aware of your principles.
When I lose my way, I always find comfort and warmth in reviewing my principles. I like to think about whether or not I’m actually living up to them. And sometimes I modify them as I grow and my passions change.
Some of my principles were taught to me by family and friends, some I borrowed from my favorite books, and others I learned the hard way – through repeated trial and error. Below are six principles – the current six principles that I strive to live up to each and every day. I’m writing this article to share them with you, but more importantly – to ingrain them into my consciousness.
1. Have a mission
Over the last four years – since I graduated college, took the red pill, and began striving for continual self-improvement – I’ve only intermittently adhered to this principle.
But the last few months I definitely have. I redesigned my homepage – and the free eBooks downloads I offer – to better reflect my decision to focus on two main topics: bodybuilding and self-improvement. I’ve also been making a push to kick-start my YouTube channel, get more comfortable on camera, and produce some beastly-ass videos, among many other things.
And during this time? I’ve felt supremely confident and happy, and I’ve done a much better job at sticking to my good habits like reading and meditation. My mission motivates me to be great in every aspect of my life.
When I get distracted and caught up in my relationships, too much pleasure time, or just sidetracked by general day-to-day bullshit, I’m far more prone to bouts of anxiety and over-indulgence in my bad habits.
2. Be present
This is one of the toughest things for me to actually put into practice.
Being present means immersing yourself completely in whatever it is that you’re currently doing. It means not worrying about things you have to do later, and not over-analyzing events that have already passed.
I struggle to do this. I often bring my mental baggage around with me – whether that means thinking about my mission when I’m with a girl, or thinking about a girl when I’m with my boys.
For me (a) having a mission that I’m actively working on and (b) meditating regularly are two key things that help me to be present. And when I am present, the time I spend working is far more productive, and the time I spend with other people is far more enjoyable and relaxing.
3. Confront your fears
I wasn’t able to get better with women until I failed with them countless times. I wasn’t able to attract a substantial amount of traffic to this website until I failed to do so for several years. I wasn’t able to write a bestselling book until I wrote several garbage ones that didn’t sell.
The common-thread: I was afraid to do each these things at first. Approaching a girl was intimidating. Starting a blog and writing about my personal life was embarrassing. And writing and publishing a book seemed impossible.
But I wouldn’t have grown as quickly as I did if I hadn’t pushed myself outside of my comfort zone and done them anyway. And I’m equally sure that I won’t continue to grow and accomplish greater and greater things if I grow complacent and stop confronting my fears and doing the very things that make me nervous and anxious.
I believe approaching women and practicing a martial art are two easy and effective ways to put yourself in fearful situations and rapidly expand your comfort zone.
4. Take responsibility
Question: What is the giveaway trait of a weak man?
Answer: His inability to take responsibility.
When you make excuses and pass the blame, all you’re doing is refusing to learn from your actions. Even if someone or something else played a large role in making something turn out badly for you, you must always take responsibility for your actions and your involvement in the situation – otherwise you won’t learn anything from the experience.
I recently broke up with my girlfriend. Blaming her for all of our issues is the easy thing to do. Reflecting on how I could have better handled different situations and better reacted to her actions that I didn’t like is not so easy.
And doing so makes me wonder if the relationship could have worked out better if I had done better… But it also gives me a lot of reference points so that I can react better and better handle similar situations in the future. The same thing goes for fuck-ups at work, at home, or in regards any other situation that ends badly.
5. Lift heavy ass weights
Here’s the thing: staying beastly is a lifestyle…
And if I don’t have the body to prove it – that’s just wrong.
I strive to physically represent the same strength and dominance that I wish to embody mentally and emotionally… And the most efficient way to do this is to lift heavy ass weights. I love squatting, deadlifting, pressing, rowing, and doing just about anything else with a few hundred pounds of dirty iron in my hands.
6. Be grateful
Being grateful for what you have is the key to happiness.
You may have heard people talk about abundance vs scarcity mindsets. THIS is what they’re talking about…
You must love your life exactly as it is in order to be able to move forward from a place of abundance. If you consume yourself with thoughts of what you WANT and what you DON’T have, you put yourself in a position of lacking – a position of weakness.
Every morning remind yourself of 10 things that you’re grateful for: relationships, possessions, accomplishments, beliefs, anything…
If you’re not happy being single, you’re unlikely to attract women into your life, because they’ll sense your neediness. If you can’t appreciate a single thing about your current job, you’re unlikely to advance your career or start your own business, because you’re focused on the bad rather than the good… This negativity will consume you.
These are my beastly principles. Borrow them, steal them, use them, modify them, and do with them as you like…
But please – do your best to live up to them – or whatever principles you do value.
Excellent article. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks John
The gratitude one was a great finish to this article. I agree. Awesome Dave!
Thank you Tone!
Wow really brilliant every day man knowledge that you heard since you were a kid from exceptionally ordinary people..I wanna know what your bestseller book is about..
These principles are good
I´m very satisfied that you put so much emphasis on meditation. I have found meditation to be incredibly beneficial to me, in self-improvement / self-management but at least equally for philosophical – spiritual understanding. For me, it´s meeting myself; what is there if I keep off any other input to my mind. And I found what I end up with is… euphoric joy.
Therefore, I´m very satisfied when there is advice for this practise as it may turn out equally beneficial for others.
Peter, thank you – I think “meeting yourself” is a great way to look at meditation
Thanks David. I think today this is what I needed to read after some “crack” I suffered yesterday in my beliefs and in my performances with the girls and the red pill.
I realised I didn’t stick to my principles with that girl and that created the situation. Now, instead of overanalize it, I will try to focus and keep going.
Yes, overanalyzing things is never good. It just leads to pointless regret.
Realize what you’ll do better next time, move on, and be grateful you had the experience and that you can learn from your mistake.
Hard to implement, for sure, but when you do, you’ll feel motivated by your fuckups.
David,
great article! since being introduced to the red pill stuff, point 6 that you bring up has been the hardest part for me to make sense of ane internalise.
the idea that we already have everything within us to be happy, yet we strive for a bigger and better life (if every sense) is quite difficult to internalise.
the word ‘gratitude’ seems to be important to internalising this. your example of being thankful for being single is somrething thats only recently hit home- after being in two longish relationships, being single has made me being able to do what i want, when i want, not having to keep up to others needs’ or “relationship requirements”- but then again, being single has meant less sex than being in a relationship, and i really like sex- its such a normal part of human functioning and happiness- so how do i solve this mental disparity. being happy with less sex, it seems silly.
Carter, thanks for the comment. Here’s my take:
The relationship vs single comparison is something we all struggle with – and it’s exactly why being grateful is so important.
Focus on what you DO have…
In a relationship that’s the companionship and sex, among other things.
Being single that’s the freedom.
It’s tough for sure, but you can’t have it both ways. Every job you work and city you live in will have pluses and minuses as well. The only way to be happy is to focus on the pluses.
Man, this is so resonating with me right now. I am struggling with confidence and my identity as an alpha male. How do I talk to women without losing myself in their desires of my wants? I used to be so strong. It’s difficult trying to find the rock of ground amongst the sea of women I interact with. Help would be greatly appreciated.
-Brad
Hey Brad,
Thanks for the comment. Going out of your way to try to please and placate women is a common behaviour of men today.
Since it’s bound to be on your mind now when you’re interacting with women, I suggest trying to be more self-aware:
– resist the urge to make a “pleasing” action or statement when you realize you’re about to
– realize when you do make a “pleasing” action or statement and think about WHY you did that in that particular situation, but don’t beat yourself up
Doing these two things should help alleviate the behavior over time.
As with any behavior you’re trying to stop doing, just give yourself permission to slip up, because it’s bound to happen, and being shameful about it will only make your situation seem worse than it actually is.
Hope this helps.
What a great mentality you have man!
I read a lot but your articles stand out.
Thanks!
Thanks man!
Awesome article…wish we could add giving to the needy or maybe it can fit to principle no.2.
Helping the less fortunate is definitely important
I’ve find this helpfull…Living every day knowing u have a mission gives great amount of joy,but the greater joy comes wen u working your Ass every day to accomplish the mission… #Thanks John
pls can u help me on how to have a YouTube account??? have some videos to upload. Thanks
Thanks man! And search on Udemy.com, there are some great courses for YouTube
I guess that’s why throughout history, evolution, culture, there was always a rite of passage for guys but never a right of passage for girls, although some say there is some for girls out there but it’s just different types
Being present is the most tough thing for me too.
But it seems extremely powerful!
Thanks David, really what I was looking for.
You’re welcome bro!!
It’s 2018 & I just now stumbled onto this. Thanks a lot. I’m now 32 & only over the past year have I started to give my potential the nourishment it needs. I’ve always struggled with my weight & confidence. Now that I’ve shed the weight, I still have “fat Austin” confidence. I’m married & have three sons. As for my wife & I, It’s so empty between us & used to be very confusing for me. I’ve always felt a need for my partner’s approval or attraction, & I believe that relying on them is what left me wondering. So I’m now at a point where I’m only relying on myself for these things & I really feel like your list is a great path for me. My sons are 13, 4 & new born. I will be implementing your list into their development. I hope they grow to be as mentally strong & inspiring as you are.
Glad the article helped you out my man!
Some times we forget that the best of us need to be reminded. Thanks Guys.
Thanks for sharing
I liked how genuine it felt, thamks for it
Please help me with this-
After my relationship got over i was over it, but my ex still wants me badly and want it all back, now my ache is i dont want to hurt this person harshly instead wanna make understand the situation… Unfortuantely this aint happening and it fucks with my head whole time! I dont hate that person but i have no intention to hurt em too.
Thanks for the advice it surely helped in a way that motivated my mind and body as well as spirit in becoming better at being self.. mind strengthening is the key success to life master it and you’ll stand out amongst a million people developing love for self and you’ll stand out in a room filled with darkness respect to the MAN that strives to be the man with honor