I got into weightlifting and bodybuilding because I wanted a better shot at getting laid.
I’m not afraid to admit it.
And I know that most guys start lifting for the exact same reason. They want to look better naked so that they can feel more confident, get more respect from other men, and increase their chances of attracting women into their lives.
While lifting weights and building muscle definitely does have a lot of huge benefits for men, does it actually have a big impact on these things in particular? Will it actually change how other people perceive your confidence and attractiveness?
I believe the answer is a loud, resounding YES. It makes a huge impact on how much respect you get from other people… and how you feel about yourself.
Below are the three main reasons this is true.
1. If you’re noticeably out of shape, people won’t respect you
A picture speaks a thousand words…
And so does the condition of your body.
A strong, muscular, and lean body isn’t just nice to look at – it also says a lot about your discipline, hygiene, work ethic, and overall character. Similarly, a really fat or scrawny body says a lot too.
It might say that you can’t control yourself and that you eat like a slob. It might say you haven’t done an ounce of exercise in years, and don’t give a shit about your health.
Whatever it does say, it’s not a good thing. It’s not something that will cause other people, especially those who don’t know you yet, to have a favorable first impression about who you are and what you value. And all of this is on top of the simple fact that your body just isn’t appealing to look at.
Sure, you can be really out of shape but not noticeably fat or scrawny (as in you don’t look especially chubby or weak when your shirt is still on). This condition definitely won’t hurt the first impression you give off compared to people who are noticeably fat or scrawny…
But you’ll still sacrifice the benefits of being noticeably fit…
2. If people can tell you lift, they’ll instantly respect you more
People treat men with noticeable muscle mass different. It’s a simple fact.
A 2002 study looked at the sexual history of men with different shoulder to hip ratios (SHR). The results?
Males with high SHR reported sexual intercourse at an earlier age, more sexual partners, more extra-pair copulations (EPC), and having engaged in more instances of intercourse with people who were involved in another relationship (i.e., having themselves been EPC partners).
In short, men with high SHR reported having far more sex than their low SHR counterparts…
And having a high SHR is a direct result of lifting weights and being in shape. The width of your shoulders grows as you build muscle in your deltoids and upper back, and the circumferences of your waist and hips decreases with your bodyfat percentage.
[Click here to see my article on the top 3 exercises for building broader shoulders]
The results of this study speak for themselves. People simply show a greater respect for men with noticeable muscle mass. Women are more attracted to them and other men look up to them more.
This is primarily because muscle mass is associated with strength, one of the main masculine virtues. Women see strength as a source of security, and they’re attracted to it. And men see it as a source of authority, and they respect it.
In addition to this key perception, when you build muscle and strength in your back, your posture improves and you stand up straighter. This, in turn, makes you look taller and more muscular, and accentuates the muscle mass that you do have.
3. Being aware of these 2 things gives you a confidence boost
As I mentioned in the intro, most of us start lifting because we want to be more attractive to the opposite sex. And, as we covered above, this actually is a good way to become more attractive to women (not to mention to get more respect from other men, too). But it’s not only because of the physical changes…
You see – when we successfully build muscle, burn fat, and see noticeable improvements in our bodies – our minds change too.
Because we were able to change our body, and because we believe that making that change will improve how other people perceive us, we start to act differently around other people. We subconsciously expect them to treat us with more respect. And we subconsciously expect women to like us more…
And we’re more confident in ourselves as a result.
Confidence is simply a belief in yourself and your abilities. And by building muscle and accomplishing what you set out to accomplish, your beliefs about yourself – and how you believe other people perceive you – change too. And then you act more confidently. And confidence is the most attractive characteristic you can embody.
Bro? I love you man! You write great articles!
Hello my name is Gunner Watson. I know this article is old but I just wanted to ask that is it true that not all woman like muscular bodies? Am I correct? If so or not, I would like to hear what you’ve got to say. I would like to boost my self-esteem and get my dream physique so I can stay healthy and live to be one hundred years old and over.
Sincerely, Gunner Watson
No it doesn’t. Most of the time people won’t even notice or care. And if they do notice it doesn’t matter to them anyways. I do notice at times when I see men that actually build muscle. And I recognize and appreciate the hard
the work to get there but it doesn’t really matter. Most of general public doesn’t care. Let me put it to you this way females models whether in adult sites or whatever get paid more then men. Maybe more in adult film but I’m guessing that other cases it’s the same. There is a higher demand for the female body then the male. And woman don’t have muscle.
Actually, such is true……Only if these responders have done an empirical study, can they say that your article is not true. I vigorously work out, and I have gotten amazing results from my mind set, respect from other men, and gazes from women…..Bros, you must workout to experience the results!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Don’t hate if you are too lazy to go to the gym.
@Ricky, LMAO, I don’t know how old this article is but you can always tell guys who not only don’t have the body and also, is the type that because he doesn’t have it. Hates on those who do. Dude, let me inform you that everything David said is true. I’ve been heavy in Sports, Fitness my whole life but it wasn’t until 8 years ago once I became a Fitness Instructor. I got into serious lifting. Yes, females were apart of it because all my classes are mostly packed with women but also, I just wanted to get BIG/challenge myself. So because I use to have just a fit body and now but not literally now but as to say, I’ve experienced both bodies. People do treat you entirely different. To the point where the downside can come off to some like you’re full of yourself. I have a very down to earth personality, so no where near is this the majority but to people like you/ignorant, it’s always that few. Men stare and of course females stare(are all in my face in my classes, when I go out in public, trying to flirt, find ways to show me they’re available or interested etc).
Most men, whether they want to admit it or not want to have a built body. It oozes monster masculinity, discipline, alpha basically which of course women melt over. So the men who stare at me, either it’s hate or admiration. I get many men when I’m in the gym, when I’m out in public that ask what my workout regimen is(I bust my ass in the gym and at home)based on my traps, chest, triceps etc and what my diet is(which is hardcore). They ask do I train etc. Lol, it’s funny to the point where they assume I’m this overly dominant person that they always make sure to fist bump me when I finish talking to them or they greet me even if it’s not fitness related. It could just be the general stuff. More when I’m out than in the gym honestly. Dudes rarely fist bumped me before I got like this, lol. What’s also funny. Women when I’m out in public can be with their husbands, boyfriends etc and yet I can always catch them trying to sneak a peak to look. I mean, it helps even more that I’ve always been sexy, lol. Bottom line, it doesn’t go to my head though.
I actually find it funny because it just goes to show how this world can get so caught up in appearances. Why should I be treated differently than someone who those may see as fat or scrawny. I see everyone as the same, I treat everyone the same(which is why most people aren’t turned off to me like a lot guys with muscles). My muscles and my looks make me no better than anyone else. Those things could be gone in instant due to an accident etc. So, it’s not that big of a deal to me with all the benefits. I workout for me because of the trauma I’ve been through in my life. Lifting, fitness etc, instructor of my dance fitness classes, is all of me constantly striving to push myself to what I know I’m capable of. Not to compete with anyone. Educate yourself and develop some maturity dude cause you truly come off as someone who is just ignorant from a lot of narratives and jealous. I’m out.
Another thing to add for you. It has to be interesting to see the responders on her versus Return of Kings.
On that site, in the commentary, the guys would say, “no chicks want a guy who looks like Mr. Olympia, rather a guy who looks like Brad Pitt in Fight Club.”
Thanks bro!
Yeah, the comments on that site can definitely get out of hand.
No it doesn’t effect how people see you. It doesn’t really matter to people if you have muscles or not. They will treat you the same not matter. I’ve seen it and I live in the real world. As I hope you do to.
Amazing article David keep at em! also for any aspiring body builders, here’s some advice If you want to build muscles than you have to start off by watching your diet, you can’t just expect to lift a bunch of weights and build muscle if your diet sucks, lifting weights is easy, but cutting out junk food can be tough, when you have finally gotten your diet in check than focus on lifting heavy and hard, but the most important thing is being consistent and keeping a log and a good routine going, you won’t get very far if your inconsistent in this game, start off by doing big compound movements, such as squats, pull ups, deadlifts and such, I know it’s tough for a lot of folks to find a good routine to keep them going but it’s vital that you do this, I’ve made some amazing gains in just a few months thanks to the advice I got over at http://aestheticreview.com this guy really helped me get a great program going that allows me to keep track of my weight and gains using a really neat tool, as well as an awesome routine, anyways good luck and never give up on your journey to making big gains!
I mean Im a fat mother. I weigh 300 lbs and have chicken arms. Yet the chics dig me. I inherited a lot o money. Do you think thats why i get chics
I’ve been skinny my whole life and can’t imagine how great it would feel to look good.
I’ve smoked since I was 11 and drank for most of my adult life.
I think I need to somehow gain the self-control to get that shit out of my life but, reading this, it paradoxically seems that even if I attempted and maybe even succeeded getting bigger and stronger even as a smoker and drinker, maybe it’ll give me the self-belief and psychological strength to over-come those shitty, life-long addictions.
Great article mate and thanks. Definitely gonna subscribe and read a lot more from this site.
Thanks Chris. Get out there and start taking action now, my man!
I just would like to mention that when it comes to attractiveness, not all men bodybuild to attract women; many of those men are attracted to men and logically want to attract other males. I think it is fair that in 2016 we write in more inclusive way because the human population is not exclusively heterosexual and many people who are part of the gym culture are not attracted to the opposite sex.
This is true, but I think the same principles of attractiveness hold true.
is this a joke?
Thnx man, great article indeed!!!!!! #very interesting n motivating
Thanks brother!
I’ve noticed over the past 3 years the nods from “gym bros” has increased as I’ve become more jacked. As for girls, I’m married but I really enjoy catching girl looking at my arms or just checking me out with overall. Maybe it’s being superficial, but it’s a great feeling to experience and a sense of confidence in my physique is something I never want to be without again.
Great post, man! Keep up the good work.
Not all women like muscle. Most run after money, no matter how you look.
This article isn’t completely correct. People treat you differently because you look more muscular & THAT leads to you behaving differently. You feel more confident because people suddenly are more friendly & don’t try to argue with you anymore. Your personality & way of thinking inside doesn’t necessarily change. It’s purely an external thing for many people (which they perceive as internal). That’s what makes the statement “beauty comes from within” such an ignorant cliche. The majority of people perceive a completely different person within small vs muscular bodies, despite the fact it may be the same person with same personality.
This is one of the ignorant sides of with society & perpetuating the phrase “just be nice & people will be nice back”, is an idealistic but ignorant piece of bs.
Totally right, I was skinny (6ft2, 10st) and people used to treat me like a kid, then I hit the gym and even though I didn’t work out like crazy, because I had no weight to lose and started to gain fast I saw instant changes in myself and the way people treated me. I’m now 6ft3 (because of better posture) and 14 stone with around 10-15% body fat.
Even though I had the same skill level in my job, I suddenly started getting more respect in meetings, taken seriously and people listened to my opinions. It’s kind of sad but that’s how the world works.
Being fit not only helps with mindset, it helps you look better in clothes as they appear more fitting, helps posture, not to mention I’m actually physically fitter now and have a better diet and overall health.
If anyone reads this article and dismisses it as nonsense, then do yourself a favour and try it out before you hate on it. You’ll look back and thank yourself for sticking with it and becoming a better version of yourself.
People will treat you differently.
In my early 20’s I was average fit. People treated me well. Women were always flirting and life was good. In my late 20’s, my lifestyle caught up to me. I got fat. People treated me like nothing. It was night and day. In my early 30’s, I lost all the weight and got muscular. Again, women pay attention. Clients respect you more. All of a sudden my opinion became more “valuable” in social and workplace situations. It’s not fair but it is what it is. Neither good nor bad.
Hell, while I was fat, I had friends with the bodies of Greek gods. Everyone around them thought they were 10 times smarter, and opportunities fell into their laps. I was blown away at there lazy work ethics too. Women loved them. It’s better on the other side.
For the big picture of attraction.
Being the complete package goes a long way. Muscle is everything when you’re a teen and in your early to mid-’20s for the short game. As you get older, you should be working on being the best version of yourself on top of getting fit. Self-assured, driving towards your passions. Bringing in a decent income. That gets more important to potential partners the older you get.
The end game is being in a place where you can give more than you take. All that said, the journey of building a powerful physique will help with developing the character to accomplish these things. No idea why I shared that rant. Maybe it will inspire someone to get working. 🙂
As a therapist, I can tell you this article is a great way to promote disordered eating in men and women.
It’s reality Doc…live in it.
The word you’re looking for is “dieting”
I like muscular men. Actually, research shows most women are attracted to men who are more muscular, stronger, and leaner than men who are smaller, weaker, and fatter.