Internet pornography is something that nearly every man is familiar with…
In fact, so few men abstain from masturbating to porn that researchers struggle to perform studies on the topic due to the lack of a reliable control group.
And it’s really quite unfortunate that so many of us pick up this habit at such an early age…
If left unchecked this bad habit can kill your confidence, cripple your ability to have pleasurable sex, and even destroy your romantic relationships.
In this article I’ll cover the most common negative side effects of porn addiction, and then I’ll outline a series of techniques you can use right now to stop watching porn and escape these negative consequences.
Porn Addiction Side Effects
Porn addiction cripples the confidence of many men
Porn is so dangerous because it can easily become a part of your daily routine. After all, it’s not uncommon for men to admit to jerking it to porn several times per day.
I mean, let’s face it – looking at naked chicks and busting a nut feels good. That’s why we do it.
However when you do anything that frequently, and you do it over the course of several years, there’s clear potential for the activity to change how you think, act, and even identify with yourself. This is what makes porn so dangerous. Below are some of the more common specific side effects that can – and usually do – develop over time if you consistently watch porn.
1. Reduced motivation to meet and date real women
When you get used to satisfying your sexual urges by flipping open your laptop and watching porn, why would you go out of your way to date real women? Porn is so much easier…
But what do you really want? To get off watching OTHER people have sex on your SCREEN… or to actually having sex yourself?
2. Erectile dysfunction
When you get used to getting turned on and ejaculating as a result of watching pixels move around on your screen, your brain will physically change. It will train itself to be aroused by watching porn instead of being with a real woman.
This ability of our brain to “rewire” itself is called neuroplasticity… and it’s very real.
3. Unrealistic sexual expectations
The women you see in porn are wearing absurd amounts of makeup, and most of them have undergone multiple plastic surgeries. Real women don’t look like pornstars (and that’s a good thing – google “pornstars without makeup” if you don’t believe me).
This is another reason you can develop sexual dysfunction – real women often “fail” to live up to the pornographic fantasies you’ve become so accustomed to.
Another significant way porn can alter your sexual expectations is how they depict common sexual scenarios. Women simply don’t initiate sex like they do in porn – it tends to be the man’s job. So you can stop waiting on your teacher, flight attendant, or cleaning lady to strip down and fuck you in the middle of the day…
4. Shame spiraling
Do you feel guilty about watching porn? Is it something that you hide from other people?
The truth is that many guys are ashamed that they watch porn. It’s not in line with their principles. They know it’s a bad habit, and that other people look down upon it, and so they do it in secrecy. And this eats away at their self-esteem and makes them feel insecure, unworthy, and just all-around shitty about themselves.
5. Escalating to extreme and perverted sexual tastes
One trend that’s been recorded is the tendency of men to view more and more extreme forms of porn as time goes on.
A simple man on women sex scene begins to fail to arouse them and so they move onto threesomes, gang bangs, rape scenes, and other perverted types of porn. I won’t even go into how this will fuck up your brain and turn you into an all-out pervert – it should be obvious.
6. It can lead you to putting women and sex on a pedestal
Watching porn can make sex seem more like a dream and less like a reality – especially if you aren’t regularly getting laid. And this can lead you to pedestalizing women and the act of sex. After all, if you need to watch porn to release your sexual urges, then could it be that you aren’t worthy of real-life women?
This dynamic is extremely dangerous and can make you depend on women for validation and happiness.
How To Quit Porn
You must break your porn addiction like any other bad habit
The good news is that if you can quit porn, you will eventually escape all of these negative side effects.
Some will take time, and others will diminish immediately – but they will all go away if you can stick to your guns for the long haul.
If you’re currently struggling to quit porn, follow the steps below, stop watching porn, and I promise that you’ll be that much happier, more confident, and sexually potent for doing so.
1. Change your identity
Studies have shown that we often must change how we see ourselves in order to change our behaviors. For example, if you struggle to goto the gym you might buy a bunch of new gym clothes in order to start thinking of yourself as a “gym rat” – with the hopes of this identity change sparking your motivation to hit the gym.
I think a simple identity change that will help you stop watching porn is to think of it as a silly behavior that a weaker, more insecure, and less experienced version of yourself used to do. When you think about hitting up your favorite porn site, just laugh and think about how stupid and pointless it is, and how you don’t do that shit anymore. It’s never very satisfying or fulfilling anyways.
2. Jerk it without porn
There’s a test out there called the “Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction Test”. All it involves is masturbating without watching pornography or imagining a pornographic fantasy. If you can get hard and ejeactualte without much effort, you pass. If not, you fail – and you likely have porn-induced ED.
Beyond this being a good test, it’s also an acceptable way to release pent up sexual energy without resorting to watching porn.
3. Replace it with another habit
This is a simple technique that works for kicking any bad habit. The same way that a nicotine addict might chew a piece of gum when they want to smoke a cig, you need to find something else to do when you get the urge to watch porn. Exercising and meditating are two activities I recommend for suitable replacements – or, at first, jerking it WITHOUT porn.
4. Don’t beat yourself up when you do it
Relapse is not only probable – it’s inevitable. Rather than shaming yourself and feeling like shit, reflect on what led you to relapsing and think about how you can better handle the situation next time you get the urge. Being too hard on yourself will only cultivate more self-hate and lead to a more vicious cycle of relapse in the future.
5. Get away from your computer when you get the urge
Question: Where do you watch porn?
Answer: On a computer.
Next time you get the urge to jerk it, take a break from being on your computer and go do something else – the urge will often subside when you remove yourself from that environment.
6. Pay a friend $100 if you slip up and watch porn
A final strategy that has worked EXTREMELY well for me in the past (for quitting any bad habit) is to tell a close friend that you’ll pay them $100 if you slip up. Just ask them to check in on you once per week.
If you go this routine, be committed to actually following through and paying your friend if you slip up (go with $20 or $50 if $100 is more than you can tolerate). Otherwise it will not be effective.
No Spam. Guaranteed.
A suggestion article: Abstaining from Porn: Side Effects
Do you have a link to that article?
I am requesting that you make an article writing about what happens when you abstain from porn and masturbation. What side effects and benefits?
I’ll look into that – but the benefit would largely be a lack of the negative side effects covered above
Makes sense.
I just lost my job and I’ve been watching porn for over 6 hours today. Which isn’t uncommon for me most days. I give myself brief recharge times. But porn is basically my wife at this point. (I am single and 23) I squeeze in as much time as I possibly can with it. The thing is I am also engaged in a sexual relationship with my neighbor… I don’t know if this is blowing up into a full blown sex addiction or not. I can tell my neighbor is getting uncomfortable with the way I am treating her lately. Kinda like a whore, to be honest, which I feel bad about. I can say with certainty that the porn affects the way I become aroused. Normal sex, which should be enough for anyone turns into this twisted demeaning game for the girl involved. I’ve cooled off after becoming aware of it. Just trying to go cold turkey. This is kind of embarrassing to write about.
Bob, it seems like you’re pretty aware that it’s become a pretty big issue for you, between taking up your time and messing with how you have sex.
I definitely think you should back off as much as you can, using whatever techniques you can to do so.
GREAT SIR…GREAT ….THIS ARTICLE IS GREAT..MANY PEOPLES R WATCHING PORN FOR SATISFICATION(((INCLUDING ME))))….I WAS A REGULAR PORN WATCHER AROUND 8 YEARS…AND THAT TIME I LOSSED MY CONFIDENCE,CONFIDENCE,BODY ETC….AFTER THAT I REALISED THT THIS IS A STUPID JOB..AND I STOPPED TO WATCH THIS PORN SHOWS……AND I ALSO STARTED TO DO YOGA AND UR EXCERCISE STEPS..NOW IAM PERFECTLY ALLRIGHT..NOW MY BRAIN IS FEELING VERY FRESH………….MANY PORN ACTORS R DOING THEIR JOB GREAT IN THE TV SCREEN WITH MANY FAKE TOOLS AND FAKE JERKINGS NON STOP[ABLE FOR 4 HOURS …BUT HOW MANY PEOPLES KNOW THAT THESE PORNS R FAKE………MY SIMPLE REQUEST TO ALL PLS DONT WATCH THESE TYPE OFF STUPID THINGS…….DAVID UR DOING A GREAT JOB KINDLY POST MORE TIPS….
Thanks Vinu – I’m glad you’ve been able to make these positive changes in your life!
It also can cause you to get tired sooner and really bad headaches once it’s a chronic thing.
I appreciate the article. But I would like to bring up some a bit sceptical views towards all the non-fap efforts… or I´ll start with a funny little story that I once heard… long time ago when there was no internet, I read a little story of a guy who eventually threw away all his porn magazines: and that was the day when he capitulated and accepted that he will ALWAYS want, like, and enjoy porn (i.e. in the moment that he cut himself off from porn, it became clear to him that that´s no use because it simply just doesn´t work).
So I guess what I would like to say is that we´d better accept that we will NEVER not like and enjoy porn. So the task is to find ways to live with porn. Not find ways how to get rid of porn and masturbating.
And here, my apporach is simply the same wtih eating. I like to compare sexual urges with the eating urge: it´s a given ! Deal with it ! You can´t get away from it. So the same like we…: just don´t overeat; and cultivate eating, design attractive plates: same with sex.
So what I try, and actually succeed doing is to not overdo porn comsumption, and have a limit on masturbating (to wit: every 2-3 days; no relation presently, as I add; and I´m 50+ so my urge is certainly less than for a 20y/o).
Besides, I would like to point out that IMO we can be very happy and grateful about the available porn, I consider it as expressions of human desires, and for me, it´s great to see the huge number of variations and the catering to most any possible taste. For me, that´s human accomplishment.
All we have to do is to find ways to deal with it in a reasonable way
-> and here comes in your article, and similar efforts: YES it´s important, and not per se simple-easy to deal with that in a reasonable way, and that´s why I find your tips very good.
P.S.: another aspect is the unbelievable mass of available internet porn. Frankly, I want to resort to conspiracy suspicions, 1)that it´s doled out to SEDATE the male population; and 2)I really wonder if our computers are corrupted by male-ware via porn-sites, in ways that we just don´t notice.
Think of it: they give away all that porn for free (on the various tube-sites, e.g). Someone has to pay for that. How is all that posible? They chose that method because porn is irresistable to the male. Hence their success is guaranteed if they are willing to make the financial effort. Bottom line: something is fishy here IMO.
Hey Peter,
I agree that just about anything in moderation is acceptable. The problem with porn – and other “addictive” behaviors – is that guys CAN’T control when – or how much – they consume.
If you have no problem abstaining for a month or so at a time, then I agree that watching porn once a week probably won’t induce many negative side effects – but there still is a risk.
And I think you’re right that men will truly never be able to NOT like porn. But being disciplined and able to abstain despite this desire is crucial.
thanx David for the article but will masterbating without porn be a good idea? Doesnt masterbating itsself have negative effects?
Hey Jerry,
I think it’s acceptable (minimal negative side effects) if done in moderation (once per week in my opinion).
I believe having sexual release once in a while is beneficial for men.
The guys in ISIS never watch porn and they seem pretty on the ball….wait what?
True. They practice it live instead of wanking. Just like we do in Germany lol Get loads of war booty. Big booty hahaha
Uh they rape young girls and women and boys. They are far worse than any porn addict.
Hey, it’s an interesting topic as always at howtobeast!
I wanted to add an important point. Masturbation consumes a lot of energy we need in daily life and brings only little satisfaction compared to side effects.
So when we have that need it’s better to consume energy in other more satisfying ways.
And those ways are different from a person to another. I appreciate your examples like meditating, exercising. I’ll add reading a book, take a nap or go for a walk. That’s what I like to do.
With those activities you’ll “be” with yourself in a good way. It brings a lot of positive feelings compared to masturbating.
Thanks Adam – couldn’t agree more. It definitely makes you feel more lethargic and zaps your energy.
While viewing porn may not be the single best use of your time all the time, the real problem is masturbation. It diminishes your energy and sociability, lowers your self-esteem, and deprives some deserving woman of the opportunity to please you.
Teens can’t help it, but a healthy grown man should never bring himself to climax. That is why God made women (Adam could handle naming animals all by himself). You should not watch porn at all if you can not do so without masturbating.
If this is Matthew Perry of Friends fame, you often refer to stories of you watching porn, jerking off (in polite terms) and have shared some experiences you’ve had. My concern is that while your former drug and alcohol addictions are in recovery, that they have been replaced by porn and gambling. You have the right to live your life as you see fit. I am only expressing my concern for you as it’s very easy to substitute new addictions for the old recovery ones. These two new ones lead to isolation, which to me means that there are still more issues to deal with. I say all of this because I care for your welfare as a human…and I understand it all. God Bless You, Matthew Perry-the actor and person. AT
Good Article
The only thing that bothers me about quitting porn is the fact that I’m not getting laid regularly at the moment. I haven’t had (real) sex in about 13 years. I got burned pretty badly by my last girlfriend (first girl I had intercourse with and she gave me an STD, accused me of stealing weed and disappeared without a word) and every effort afterward resulted in further pain. So eventually I opted out altogether, relying on porn to fill that need.
After taking the red pill somewhat recently, I have decided to opt back in, gradually improving myself and finally learning how to be a man. I’ve heard of the concept of quitting porn and tried it several times, but without having the success with women I would like. I have to wonder if I’m needlessly torturing myself since I am not getting laid. I’m concerned that if I don’t have some kind of release, I might end up doing something I will regret.
I realize it’s probably just a fear of the unknown, which is a fear to be conquered in every area of life. But I am eager to get this part of my life handled, so I have to wonder if getting laid should come before quitting porn, or the other way around? I have not experienced any kind of ED, but I have noticed some of the shame and escalation you mentioned over the years.
TLDR: Does quitting porn lead to more confidence in getting laid? Or does it just cause more needless pain?
James, you can find that same release by masturbating without porn. It’s simply not worth the negative side effects.
Quitting porn won’t magically make you more confident in your ability to attract women. But it should put in an overall more positive, in-control mindset. At the same time, you need to take action to date new women.
I suggest you approach in public when you spot a girl you like and use some online dating to augment. Easier said than done, I know, but it’s worth the effort.
Thanks for the advice. I’ll give it a try. Haven’t had much success in the past with dating sites. Most women on those sites seem to be fat, crazy or both. Any suggestions on sites that have some quality women? Tinder seems to be all the rage, but I haven’t gotten into it yet. Meanwhile, as a 34 year old with beginner-level game, should I focus more on day or night game?
James,
During the night, women know a lot of men will approach them so they have that kind of shield. Which of course can be broken 😛
On the other side, during the day they are more relaxed. In addition of that they imagine more to find that charming prince while they are in grocery shop, bus station or library (just gave some examples) than at some night club.
In both cases (I recommend you to practice both to get used to approach) I recommend you to follow signs. E.g. If a woman look at you two times, on third time you have to approach her. Get suited the best you can, nice haicut, fresh breath, kind of perfect hygiene and let women choose you. It’s easier for the beginning, later on as well, but especially at beginning..
Be friendly and social. Try to get in the group where there are the most beautiful women. It doesn’t metter if you first meet guys from that group. And it could be easier for you. They will in most cases intoduce you to women. Be always yourself! Don’t change yourself to please women.
I could write till tomorrow and sorry if there are some mistakes in English 🙂 I’m in Europe and English is not my mother tongue. I wish you to have great time in your life and with women as well.
Honestly, the simplest, easiest way to cut down on porn consumption was to stop taking my laptop home. Ideally, I would just live in a place without internet, forcing me to leave my home to use the internet. And seeing as I’m not going to jerk it in a cafe or library, the problem pretty much solves itself.
Which brings me to another point… trying to overcome bad habits by willpower alone is usually a bad strategy. On a long enough timeline you will be weak. Lock a recovered junkie in a room with a point of heroine and see what happens. It’s human nature. What you have to do is find ways the present, sated, and rational you can outmaneuver the future, irrational, needy you and not give your future self the means and opportunity to fuck up. So, my recommendation, cancel your home internet subscription (you spend too much fucking time on the internet anyways) and start leaving the house every time you want to use the internet. Saves having to fight a losing battle against your deepest instincts every time you are bored and horny.
Good points J – making structural changes like canceling your internet subscription, or even just getting away from your computer when you get the urge are far better than trying to force yourself to stop via sheer willpower.
thanks
Great Article David! I really like reading your articles you are straight to the point and explain things very well. As a porn addict since a teen and ongoing these tips will definitely come in handy for me next time i have the urge to watch porn, i mean every man has the urge to watch porn and it can be very hard to stop that habit but with practice and dedicatiom you can limit and stop it for good if you wanted to! Just stay focused and fight the urge because your mind can do any thing!
Thanks Frank. It’s always a temptation for sure, but resisting despite the urge is what builds self-discipline (and avoids the negative side effects mentioned above).
This is an excellent article and very truthful. I founded a company called The Mindful Habit that treats sex and porn addiction and most of the men in my program experience something on this list, if not all of the side effects.
I masturbating me making love with my rajes baby.. I screaming smack rajeee.. she screaming annaaaeeeeee..
I am indian man addicted to porn things and masturbation. I am needing help from the bad things.
I needing help.
Could I make a suggestion? Those who struggle with pornography and are looking for help don’t need the extra triggers. Your picture you have introducing the article, though shows no nudity, is very provocative and can be a trigger for those same people you’re trying to help.
Mike, I think this is a legit point. I chose the photo because it’s visually sharp.
That´s right! when you always watch porn, later you need “feed” your mind each time with harder and weird porn to feel excited, so let all your very important healthy tasks to do aside just to please this vice, so you
become a zombie, ruin your own life.
Excellent article
Hey David, need your help. I am in my mid twenties. .Previously many times I had tried to quit watching porn and at times I was successful for a week or some days but then I start viewing women indecently, which I don’t feel good about. Then I switch back to watching porn and the cycle of restraint somehow breaks. Hope you can help. ..
My advice would be that written in the article. Are you saying that when you DON’T watch porn that you view women indecently?
Hey David, need your help. I am in mid twenties. .Previously many times I have tried to quit watching porn and at times I was successful for a week or so. …but then I start viewing women indecently, which I don’t feel good about. .so I switch back to watching porn and the cycle of restraint somehow breaks. Hope you can help. ..
Hi, it is a nace espacaliy who are adopted with porn videos
what kinds of generation came be craet this is abig issue on the worled many childern under 18 are more affected by this
the govermets must think about this.
Absolutely agree. Children grow up seeing this an think it is OK. It is the reason alot of people have body issues. Because they are trying to live up to a fake identity. Even port stars have touch ups an air brush. It needs to become less available an alot less normality and it should help lower the number of people with porn habits.
I am porn addict. Pls helping me. I like beng wah balls holding.
Nice. I love the statistics at the start. means every male should read. love to share it! @9ja
im 17, tried quitting porn lasted a week, been trynna cut back to watching porn 4-5 times a week for only 15 minutes a day, that still bad?
It’s an improvement, but I’d recommend getting down to just once per week.
hi i ve all this symtoms i got married recently am unable to have sex my pennies is not responding my age is 28 i watched porn for 7 years is there any medical treatment or there any treatment let me know i cannot satisfy my spouse i want commit suicide because of this help me
Hi Swamy, I have to advise you go see a doctor.
People please I NEAD help a am almost 14 and I can’t stand to see porn anymore when I sweard to God it didnt work please help me I am a muslim and its a very bad habit in our religion and I am addicted I NEAD
help and i realy realy nead to stop porn stuff
Hey Seif, I recommend trying the techniques I mentioned in the article.
seif i share your problem but im now 42 and have been impotent for 23 years. ive been suffering from mental health problems for almost 30 years and if i didnt i would be happily married already but keep persevering you will win
OK I’ll try
David,I am to ask you something about masturbation.How many times should I do it within a week? May I ask,how often do you masturbate ?Just to set you as my basis.Please.your answer will be of great help!
Hey Vicente, I think once per week is a healthy amount, but there are no hard rules here. The issue is whether you have control of the habit or the habit controls you.
Well,once a week does makes sense. When I do it several times a week,it makes me weak after. So I’ll just follow you.Thanks, I truly consider your help!
How can i stop my this bad habbits about sex thougts and negative thought….
Plz tell me soln david…
Can this works on me???
Hey man, I wrote all of my advice on this subject in the article above! Try some of the strategies I listed above.
Ya i will try from now….
Thanks david….
and i am so happy that you help people for good…
Nice keep it up…
I masturbate two to three times daily and I have sex with my wife in the morning before work and at night most days of the week unless we just dont have time and i feel confident and strong and i am rarely ever tired out or withdrawn, maybe i am just lucky but i have many friends that are the same way i think you are all nuts.
I have a question on what counts as porn. The article defines porn as the obvious; sex filmed for consumption that is typically unrealistic or fosters unrealistic expectations and uses models that are not emblematic of real women. Because I really want to cut porn down to an absolute minimum, where would revealing and/or nude pictures of my girlfriend fall on the spectrum? I think they would fall outside the realm of porn as defined by this article because this is a girl who is very obviously real and there’s nothing going on aside from her displaying her body but I have to ask because I can’t be sure if the rationalization I just gave is me trying to hold onto something that could possibly sabotage my intentions so I’d like an outside opinion.
If it’s something that seems wrong or borderline wrong/addicting to you then I would avoid it.
Guess I’ll have to adopt a try it and see perspective. Thanks for the input.
Just kidding in the fist line {Dude your face is so scary I don’t think I would be able to jerk off again man.}
Seriously though if your worried about porn understand this point of view why the hell not to do it man go and search up rape report’s. The guy’s doing it for the most part Blame porn. I say it depends on your type of porn usage such as B.D.S.M is bad HARDCORE is bad TENTACLE and Hentai PORN what the fuck is wrong with you and how in the hell do men/Me included for a time/ Even get of on paper drawn women it disgrace’s my native ancestor’s I have kept on thinking like this and continuing the porn habit even though I want to quit so how do I
What about masturbation 1 time in 1 month or 2 is that will be a bad thing for my health ??
I don’t think so, as long as you don’t watch porn.
You make some great points but you’ve failed to mention the effects you cause to other people. For example a spouse. You can cause great pain an trust issues, you can actually destroy a person. Which in effect will cause more emotional distress on you also. Alot of people don’t realise aswel that the images you think as “normal” porn could be children as young as 14. Alot of places dont vet check before images are posted. Maybe thinking of it like that may help kick the habit aswel.
Great point Ben. Another important reason not to watch porn.
Thanks for this good advice
It’s great to write positive sides of giving up watching porn movies.
Thank you so much.
Hey I am 15 years old i dont know how i can stop this bad habbit its very difficult for me every time i make decision to not to watch it but every time i fail . I also have a question that is my body is also effected physically when i watching these kinds of stuff..??
Yeah man, re-read the article. Try some of those strategies. You can also try telling a friend you’ll give him $100 if you slip up. Works wonders for me.
Super impressed with this article, especially since its not a christian website. Glad you are helping to address this addiction is that becoming more prevalent as the years go by and causing untold damage to many people. Being a christian, i would say, for me, will power is not always enough. There are some people out there that have an insane level of will power, but for many of us that are not as disciplined, praying and holding on to Jesus helped a whole lot. Porn addiction is beast to conquer, and we all need all the help we can get. Your ideas and tips are really really good, but the reliance on Jesus helps a lot too.(Not preaching, just being honest).
Thanks Kris, I think you’re right: it’s super important to find a way to stop the habit outside of relying on willpower alone.
For some people this may mean prayer, for other it could mean having to pay a friend $100 if you slip up.
thanks David, I hope your article will change my life,i will be a real men. I learned the way how to avoid porn addiction.
Thanks, David… I was worried about how many time i’ve spent watching porn, and as you said, it was making me some kind of pervy. Well… i was also questioning my sexuality, altough I do not feel atracted by guys, i’ve got hot for …members… (and for some it could be a sign that i was bi of some sort), but i was sure I wasn’t. Well, i’ve searched and found nothing, untill i’ve discovered your article. And, man, after i’ve read it all made sense… So I thank you for helping me to understand that. (BTW, i must apologize for my english).
You’re welcome man! It can cause some very real side effects, that’s for sure.
Hello, I am army men. I started masturbating since 2002 and I’m 29 now. I feel that I hav lost proper errection, what should I do now as I am still unmarried? I have also started becoming bald. I’m scared of my future. I don’t have a gf. What should I do?
I hope that this helps me
its s bad habit and a sin aswell I lost everything because of this addiction
hi david sir…A student should know that he should follow the path of his teacher…so as it is…that how do you explain about this….as sperm is need for everyone….and did you ever go through this situation…dont mind sir…as i am asking that have you had sexual relationship