The following is a guest article from my good friend, current apartment-mate in Spain, and podcast co-host Dave Perrotta of PostgradCasanova.com.
Do you have a fulfilling dating life?
In other words, are you satisfied with the amount and quality of women you hang out with?
If your answer is no, the biggest reason might be that you’re not putting yourself in situations to meet the ‘right’ women.
By developing just a few key habits, you can drastically increase the number of women you meet in your daily life.
As a result, you’ll meet more women that you’re likely to ‘click’ with, get better at communicating with them, and become more comfortable around them – all without wasting time or losing focus on your purpose.
So, what are these habits? Let’s dive in…
Habit #1: Make Small Investments
When you see a pretty girl and think about approaching her, what goes through your head? Do you feel anxious? We all do.
But maybe it’s because you think you’ll have to hold a long conversation with her and it might get awkward?
A lot of guys aren’t so much afraid of starting a conversation with an attractive girl – it’s more continuing the conversation that really gets them. But this fear of the future is unwarranted – you don’t know how she’s going to respond to your approach or where the interaction might lead. Hell, you might not even like her!
To quell this fear, start making small investments. When you see a girl you want to talk to, tell yourself that you’re just going to say “Hi” and then walk away.
If you’re in a nightclub, you can ask a simple question like, “Do you know what the name of this club is?” I was out with David the other night and we did exactly this to get out of our heads. After that, we decided to go up and ask women, “Are you guys from America?” (we’re currently in Spain).
By making these “small investments”, we ended having an awesome time with some beautiful women, and it was all because we felt no pressure to say something so simple.
As you build this habit, you’ll find yourself in more and more conversations with women – and you’ll be surprised how many of them turn into fun, memorable experiences and potential relationships.
Habit #2: Try Things Similar to Your Passions
You should periodically reflect on potential new hobbies and activities to try out… Especially if you’re not meeting girls you like.
To do this, simply assess your passions and look for new activities that align with these passions. It’s a bonus if women are also interested in these things.
For example, let’s say you’re really passionate about fitness. You probably already have a habit of going to the gym, but maybe you could try out yoga as well – something that a lot of fit, attractive women do.
Sure, right now you might not be directly passionate about yoga, but it parallels something you ARE very passionate about (fitness), so there’s a good chance you’ll like it too. And furthermore, chances are you’ll be attracted to the women you meet there. AND chances are they’ll be attracted to you too!
Note: This doesn’t mean to go there just to meet women. You should actually want to give this new activity a try and see if you enjoy it.
For example, for me, I’m passionate about dancing, staying in shape, and learning Spanish.
So whenever I move to a new city, I usually do a few things:
- Start taking some type of dance class (usually salsa or bachata)
- Sign up for a new gym that’s filled with people in my age range
- Go to intercambio language exchanges (if I’m in a foreign country)
When you make it a habit to try new things you’re passionate about, not only will you further develop your character and grow your passions, but you’ll also meet tons of new people.
As you make connections, build your social circle, and throw yourself into new situations, you’ll inevitably meet many more women.
Habit #3: Online Dating (in Moderation)
Online dating is one of the easiest ways to meet women. It’s had stigma in the past, but now there are so many people using it that the stigma is all but gone.
And there are tons of good options out there. My favorites are:
Be sure to include at least one photo of you doing something you’re passionate about (e.g. dancing, boxing, cooking) to help screen for women with similar interests. With a good opening line followed by some basic conversation, you can easily set up 2-3 dates a week.
But you need to tread carefully here, because online dating apps can get pretty addicting – you start off swiping and messaging a few girls, and next thing you know you’ve spent hours scrolling through profiles and messaging potential prospects.
So, set a 15-20 minute window each day for online dating apps, and only use it during that time period. After exchanging a few messages with an attractive girl, ask for her number and move the conversation to text. This will escalate the probability of actually meeting up and it will ensure you don’t waste too much time on dating apps.