Confidence is everything.
Confidence dictates how happy we are, how we interact with other people, how well we perform at EVERYTHING we do, and how we feel about ourselves.
I think every man intuitively understands this fact. Yet most guys still struggle to actually improve their confidence and self-esteem… And it holds them back. It prevents them from getting what they want out of life. It keeps them from enjoying life and being happy.
When you’re confident, everything is easier. Talking to girls is a breeze. Crushing an interview is nothing. Confronting a close friend or girlfriend doesn’t paralyze you.
But the question is, of course, what’s the most efficient way to actually build confidence?
Below I’ll cover what I believe are 5 of the most effective ways for men to take their confidence to the next level.
1. Lift Weights and Build Muscle
Lifting weights is the most effective way to change your body. It’s the best way to build muscle, burn fat, and get stronger.
And face it: we are all extremely body-image conscious. We feel better and perform better when we know we’re looking good. So you might as well take the time to get this nailed down and improve your body.
Sure, diet is important, but if you’re in the gym hitting the weights and getting stronger, then your body will improve. And as your body improves, so will your self-esteem.
The main thing to remember when it comes to lifting weights and actually improving your body is that consistency is everything. Most guys hit the gym, but not with the consistency that it takes to see real results. And this is why they get frustrated, fall off, and fail.
2. Improve Your Body Language
Body language means everything from posture and how you move to eye contact and tone of voice – anything non-verbal.
The truth is that how we present ourselves and carry ourselves says a lot more than the actual words we speak.
Here are two quick ways to boost your body image and how people perceive your confidence:
- Stand up straight: Hold your head high – think about as if someone had a string tied to the crown of your head and was pulling it straight up.
- Hold strong eye contact: To improve your eye contact, focus on 2 things – hold it for longer than the other person and break it by looking to the sides (instead of down)
By doing these 2 simple things, you will present yourself far better than most men and emanate a confident presence that everyone will notice, even if only on a subconscious level.
3. Approach Women
Getting rejected by a cute girl is a fear shared by almost every single man. It’s intimidating and has the potential to be quite embarrassing…
And this is exactly why confronting this fear has the potential to expand your comfort zone and take your confidence to the next level.
By confronting this fear, and getting comfortable approaching cute girls despite it, you will slowly desensitize yourself to the fear of rejection. And this in invaluable. Because rejection and the fear of failure hold men back from doing more than just talking to girls. Everything from quitting a job to trying to start your own business takes balls…
It takes facing the fear of failure head on, and then proceeding anyway.
This is why approaching women is such a crucial confidence-builder. I won’t get into the details of how to actually approach women, but I will say that a simple combination of honesty and confidence is all it takes.
Meditation is the most well-known “good” habit that nobody does. Seriously, everyone knows how important it is… Yet no one actually does it consistently.
And this is a real shame. Meditation, when done consistently, has the power to relieve stress and anxiety, enhance focus, and increase self-esteem. It trains you to let go of neurotic thoughts that can drive you crazy and eat away at your confidence and well-being. It trains you to remain calm and relaxed even when shit gets hectic.
The easiest way to mediate is as follows:
- Assume a comfortable posture
- Focus all of your attention on breathing deep breaths
- When your mind starts to drift, catch yourself, and return to focusing on your breathing
That’s all it takes. An added benefit is that by training yourself to breathe deep, full breaths, you actually will deepen your voice as you learn to utilize the full length of your diaphragm.
5. Do Affirmations
Affirmations are an “old school” self-help trick… But they work.
When you consciously repeat something to yourself, over and over again, your subconscious mind starts to accept it as reality. You trick yourself into believing something new.
My favorite affirmations is a simple one: “I love myself. I am more than enough on my own.”
This reminds me to be gentle with myself. It reminds me not to beat myself up over stupid shit. It reminds me that I don’t need anything – or anyone – else in order to feel good about myself and be happy.
Those are 5 simple ways every man can boost his confidence and take his self-esteem to the next level.
But remember, like anything in life, it’s a never-ending battle. Make these things habits. Do them consistently. They will change you.