Reading is a fundamental task that you would be ignorant to ignore.
Reading a book allows you digest the life-long wisdom of another man… in a few mere hours.
Yet so many men fail to read. They’d rather surf the internet, play video games, watch internet porn, or dive into their smartphones than take the time to read an actual book.
But why?
For one – reading takes focus. If you’re not in the habit of reading, then it’s sure to challenge your attention span. I won’t argue this point.
But I will say that if you let this minimal barrier to entry prevent you from reading quality books and learning from the wisdom of great men, then you’re doomed to fail in life… Accomplishing anything worthwhile takes persistence and focus to complete.
Below are my three favorite books. They’ve all had a deep, profound impact on my life. For each book I’ll review the take-home message I gleaned from reading it… And then explain how it affected me personally, for the better.
1. A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy
In ancient Greece and Rome, the idea of having a coherent life philosophy was held in high esteem. Different schools of philosophy offered different perspectives on what it meant to live a “good” life.
The school of Cynicism advocated living a simple and “natural” life, free from distractions like wealth, fame, power, or sex. On the other hand, the school of Epicureanism advocated living a life that maximized pleasure – experiencing pleasure was the primary goal of those who followed this school of thought.
Among the other competing schools was Stoicism. The Stoics believed that tranquility, and freedom from negative emotions, was the key to living a “good”, virtuous life.
While my brief descriptions probably oversimplify these different schools, William B. Irvine (professor of philosophy and author of A Guide to the Good Life) studied them in detail while searching for a personal life philosophy. And, after a great deal of thought and analysis, he decided to adopt Stoicism and become a practicing Stoic.
And, after realizing an immense happiness by doing so, he decided to write a “guidebook” for the general population. You see – the existing books and literature on Stoicism are almost all from the days of Ancient Rome, and Irvine wanted to create something that the modern man could pick up and implement into his own life without having to decipher ancient rhetoric.
The Take Home Message: Be Grateful
The basic, yet powerful Stoic principle that I try and implement into my own life is gratitude.
By being actively grateful for the things you already have, you train yourself to be happy and content. You avoid getting caught up wanting more and more, and taking the things you have for granted.
On the path of self-improvement it’s quite easy to get caught up in the cycle of setting – and accomplishing – bigger and bigger goals. And this is great, but there’s a HUGE risk of becoming depressed when you’re not “leveling up” and making large strides forward.
The Stoic philosophy keeps me grounded as I plow on. And this books offers several key techniques I continue to use in to remind myself to be grateful.
Buy it now on Amazon: http://amzn.to/1K3ZgDm
2. The 50th Law
Author Robert Greene built a cult-like following after writing his “masterpiece” The 48 Laws of Power.
This book covers 48 basic principles for achieving success and power as illustrated through the use of a wide range of historical examples. And while that book is amazing in it’s own right, I think The 50th Law is even better.
For this book, Greene teamed up with rap icon 50 Cent to write a contemporary version of his previous book, but this time everything is centered around a unifying theme: fear nothing.
The Take Home Message: Take Action
The reason I prefer this book to its predecessor – and the reason I think it’s one that every man should read – is because everything inside is about taking action.
Man’s biggest opponent is inaction – it keeps him from accomplishing his goals, makes him nervous and insecure, and is an all-around enemy of success and happiness. In fact, I believe making fast decisions and avoiding overthinking things is the most important thing you can do to start being happier and more confident right now.
The other reason I prefer this book to The 48 Laws of Power is that it uses 50 Cent’s life as a running example throughout the book. As much as I like to hear about ancient kings, queens, and politicians, the life of 50 Cent is far more modern and relatable… And this book still contains a bunch of those historical examples, anyway.
Buy it now on Amazon: http://amzn.to/1FKCN7U
3. The Way of the Superior Man
The first time I read The Way of the Superior Man was when I was in my first long term relationship. I hadn’t experienced much conflict in this relationship, and so the book didn’t quite hit home.
The second time I read it was after coming out of a different relationship – one marked by a lot of passionate ups and downs – and that time I desperately wished I’d read it a few months earlier.
You see – author David Deida explores the deepest essence of masculinity in this book. He primarily covers how to be authentically masculine in your relationships and your life’s work… And it’s shockingly eye-opening.
The Take Home Message: Follow Your Purpose
My biggest takeaway from this book was undoubtedly the importance of maintaining a mission – or a guiding purpose – in my life.
Without a purpose it’s all too easy to get distracted by the details and the bullshit of daily life. When this happens, the details and distractions become your focus… And this drains your energy and destroys your mood.
The second thing I really took home from this book is how to deal with the inevitable conflicts in a romantic relationship. Deida challenges us to “feel through” our woman and her emotions by showing her deep love and affection, even in the most turbulent of times.
It’s so easy to get caught up and make conflicts worse by trying to “reason” through them and “solve” the problem. However, the problem between a man and woman tends to be a lack of love or connection, and the best way to conquer this is through intimacy, not a logical workflow…
Unless, of course, you want your relationship to turn into a “legal partnership” that strictly serves to fulfill tax purposes and raise children, rather than being a source of comfort, passion, and excitement in your life.
Buy it now on Amazon: http://amzn.to/1E6WIRA
Agreed on the The Way of the Superior Man. I keep a copy handy for focusing the mind first thing in the morning. Get a mission, stick to it, plus and a whole lot more useful stuff in there.
It’s a foundational message – do you read a passage every single morning? Or just as needed?
Thank you for the suggestions. I’ll check tbem out.
wonderful article…
I agree with these three books and have them in my library. They are enough to impart a lifetime of wisdom about being a man. Thank you for letting more people know about these gems.
Yessir – maybe not the only 3 books men should read – but I really believe that you can’t go wrong reading these 3… They preach very complimentary messages.
I have to say that I started The Way of the Superior Man and I couldn´t agree. I guess that maybe this is not the time for me to read it yet. It sometimes happens to me with books, that I read them in a moment in which my mind state is not the best to understand the real ideas behind the book. I´ll keep it for later, and let´s see if the moment arrives.
The one I will take as soon as possible though, is the Guide to the Good Life. Philosophy for the modern times, this is something so f****ng useful that I still wonder how is possible nobody adapted the Ancient Greek works to the modern era. Thanks for the advices.
You’re welcome. I can see where you’re coming from on Way of the Superior Man – it definitely didn’t hit home for me on my first read.
I think you’ll love a Guide to the Good Life, though – this book changed my life on the first read-through…
…Hey David, while I agree about #2 having to take some action at some point…What if you don’t know what action to take in the first place ? because that’s happened to me with a couple of my goals, I tried taking some type of actions but they didn’t lead me anywhere except a dead end and I was left feeling more frustrated than ever.
If you take an action that doesn’t work out, you simply need to re-evaluate your plan. You now have more information you can use to calculate your next action.
This is all very vague, I know, but if you can’t think of the actions you need to take in order to achieve a particular goal – then I believe you should talk to someone else who’s achieved that goal and see if they can help…
…and even this requires taking the action to seek them out and reach out to them.
Alright thanks for the advice Dave
I just finished all three and what a power house combo of insight and huzpah! Thanks David.
I also find “The Rational Man” as a book I wished I read earlier in my life.
Thanks Jason – I’ll take a look at the Rational Man.
I counted myself a Stoic for a few years. But the problem with it is the duty-based ethic it advocates. I was constantly looking for people to serve and giving things–and myself–away and getting nothing in return. Not a good way to live your life. Very depressing, to be precise.
Then I found Objectivism. I am the type that needs a set philosophy. As you said this used to be normal. But it seems to be optional for most people. I am an idealist though and everything I do I do to the nth degree.
Objectivism lets me do this. I can always use Reason as my guide in life. I can always focus on carrying out my life’s Purpose. And I can always count on having Self Esteem if I do so. (These are the three Cardinal values of the Objectivist ethic).
Anyway, not trying to lecture you. But have been reading your articles on ROK and will buy some of your e-books. You seem to like Reason at least. Thought I would drop some ideas that have helped me.
Hey David, I’ll look into Objectivism.
And I’d like to point out that the Stoicism preached in that book isn’t really about serving other people, but rather understanding what you can actually control and not letting things that you cannot eat away at you.
It’s a modified version of Stoicism, I suppose.
Thanks man, I’ve been wanting to read some of those books.
What about the Book pictured in the top photo? The Book of Eli, which ended up being the Bible. Its got a lot to say about being a proper man.
Good question. I’ll be honest: I’ve never taken the time to read through the Bible – only what I heard from it going to church as a youngster. I’ll add it to my reading list, I definitely owe it one full read-through.
Wow, just finished “The Way of the Superior Man” and I must say I’ve have already seen ways it helps me with life and my vision. Really look forward to reading the other two!
Awesome – it really is a great book man!
This is a fantastic recommendation and it’s spot on.
Thanks for the first book, I’ve never heard of that one – gotta check it out.
I devoured the 50th law & Superior Man, and those are two of the best books on plunging your purpose into the world, I have to say.
50th Law was incredible because it primes you with the extremities, so you CAN’T be scared of small things anymore. It shows you how to change on a dime, how to play chess with situations, and how to look through others’ motivations.
Superior Man was amazing because it taught you how to handle women, never get ambiguous or complacent in your mission, know that strong alternations of purpose and confusion, for what to complete are just part of manhood, and MUCH more.
Thanks for sharing, I’ll check this first book out because I jive with Stoicism and delayed gratification.
– Evan
Thanks Evan, good points on those 2 books. I definitely recommend checking out the first one as well, it’s a great summary of the stoic philosophy.
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